


C-137, My Rick

by bearmara



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Action/Adventure, Age Difference, Alcohol, Aliens Made Them Do It, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, I'm more attracted to Rick than I should be, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jealous Rick, Older Man/Younger Woman, Protective Rick, Reader is a porn star (sometimes), Reader is very smart, Reader-Insert, Rick Being an Asshole, Smart Is The New Sexy, lots of language, potty mouth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-02 14:36:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20775356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearmara/pseuds/bearmara
Summary: An internship has turned into a full-blown partnership with the crazy, blue-haired old scientist known as Rick Sanchez. When obducted by the Council of Ricks under false charges, (Y/n) learns a lot more about her boss and herself than she originally signed up for.





	1. Happy Anniversary! You're Under Arrest

**Author's Note:**

> Rick and Morty is a fantastic show that I need more of. Season 4, WHERE ARE YOU???!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick did an oopsie...or did he?

“Happy Anniversary, Dad!”

Beth cheered, placing a huge plate of pancakes in front of Rick. There had to be at least twenty, all of them doused in syrup and topped with a candle. I knew how much Rick loved his pancakes.

I, on the other hand, felt extremely uncomfortable. 

I was a young college student studying science, specifically Astronomy. _ Nothing _ interested me more than space, but I was also trying to familiarize myself with many other branches of science. For one of my classes, I was supposed to complete lab hours _ outside _of class - mainly through the means of an internship.

At least, that’s what all my other classmates were supposed to do. But one day, my professor pulled me aside. 

“(Y/n) I have a special ‘internship’ for you.” 

He actually used air quotes. At that moment, I became somewhat scared of what my professor had in mind. He told me about a man, a _ genius _man whom he had known many years ago. Rick Sanchez. The name rung a bell in the back of my head, but I couldn’t put my finger on it - so I ignored it. 

My professor told me to seek out Rick and ask him to tutor me. He did NOT, however, tell me what an asshole Rick was. The first thing the man ever said to me was, “Too tall.”

I mean, he wasn’t wrong. I was tall for a girl, but I wasn’t a giant. Rick, being the lanky bastard that he was, still towered over me. 

But Lucifer help me - he triggered my defensive sharp tongue.

“Too drunk.”

I retorted, smelling the liquor the second I stepped into the garage. 

He looked me up and down, smirking and raising one side of his unibrow. 

“You’ll do nicely.”

And that was it. 

Six months later, I had become Rick’s student/right-hand-woman. I could probably fill a textbook, or four, of all the things he had taught me. My internship was only supposed to last ten weeks, but Rick decided to keep me around. 

Why? I couldn’t possibly begin to guess. 

We had become pretty close - spending hours on end together every day will do that to people. He had basically become my best friend, especially since I didn’t have any others. And I knew he didn’t have any - on Earth anyway. I guess we were both just lonely.

But anyway, long story short, I was currently sitting next to Rick at his family breakfast, celebrating one year of him being back in their lives. 

“Oh, I get it. Regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers. I-I should be making you breakfast for putting up with me.”

Rick stated, shoving his mouth full of the delicious ‘flying saucers’.

I didn’t know why I was sitting there. Rick and I had been tinkering around in the garage when Beth came out to get her father. And since I was there, she invited me in for breakfast. Because otherwise, it would be rude or something. I don’t know. I would have been fine to just leave, but both Beth and Rick insisted that I stay. 

I had said less than two words to Rick’s entire family, excluding Morty since he was always being dragged along by Rick. So sitting in on their family meal was a little more than uncomfortable for me. 

“Unclench, (Y/n), you’re fine,” Rick whispered to me.

“Easy for you to say,” I hissed. “This is _ your _family.”

Rick rolled his eyes, taking a big swig from his handy flask. 

“It’s breakfast. They’re not making you invest in their business at gunpoint. Just shut up and eat something.”

Looking down at my plate full of sausage, hashbrowns, eggs, and pancakes, my growling stomach made the decision for my brain. As I was about to take my first bite, a flash of green almost made me drop my fork. A portal, very similar looking to Rick’s, opened and three people stepped through. 

And not just any three people - three _ Ricks _.

“Rick Sanchez of earth dimension C-137, you are under arrest for crimes against alternate Ricks by the authority of the trans-dimensional council of Ricks.”

The Rick in the middle said. 

One neutralized Jerry and several shrieks from the others later, I looked over at Rick. Rick C-137, I guess.

He was completely unfazed. 

“Everybody, relax.” Rick stood up, wiping his mouth with the napkin he used as a bib. “If I know these a-holes, and I am these a-holes, they just want to haul me to their stupid clubhouse and waste my time with a bunch of questions. Let's get it over with.”

“Bring his (Y/n)!” The lead Rick ordered. 

The two other Ricks stomped over to us, placing us both is cuffs. 

“Leave my (Y/n) out of this!” Rick yelled. He genuinely sounded upset. 

“You lost the right to have a say in these things when you refused to j-join the council.”

The Ricks started dragging us towards the portal. I was confused, but honestly, shit like this happened almost daily with Rick. I had learned to roll with it until all the information becomes available. 

“What about Jerry?!” Beth hollered, looking at the frozen statue of her husband. 

“Will you at least unfreeze my daughter’s idiot?” My Rick asked before being shoved into the portal. I followed close behind and wasn’t able to see the fate of the frozen son-in-law. I could only hope the lead Rick returned him to his normal, cowering self. 

Exiting the portal on the other side, we were greeted with a very Star Trek looking space station. There were fountains along the golden walkways with hundreds of different versions of Rick and Mortys. Most of them looked exactly alike, but there were a few special ones. And to top the place of, a giant statue of, you guessed it, Rick. 

I looked over to my own Rick, who was looking very annoyed and bored. 

“Uh, Rick, why does it look like you took over the Starship Enterprise and decided to make it into a shrine for yourself?”

“(Y/n), that movie was in-incredibly inaccurate, and this is the Citadel of Ricks.” Guns poking our backs made us start walking forward. 

Rick continued, “It’s the secret headquarters for the Council of Ricks. As you know, I've got a lot of enemies in the universe that consider my genius a threat - galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, most of the entire intergalactic government. W-wherever you find people with heads up their asses, someone wants a piece of your boss, and a lot of versions of me on different timelines had the same problem. So a few thousand versions of me had the _ ingenious idea of banding together, _” he yelled that part sarcastically, “like a herd of cattle or a school of fish or those people who answer questions on Yahoo! Answers.”

Rick didn’t give a shit if anyone heard him, let alone was offended by his words. Was it even possible to offend yourself? I didn’t want to find out - these other Rick’s were pissed at C-137 for some reason and I was prepared to express my Miranda rights. 

“Yeah, most timelines have a Rick, and most Ricks have a Morty. This place is a real who's who of who's him and me.”

Hearing that, I began to look around and noticed something very odd. The other Ricks had said ‘Bring his (Y/n)’, which should mean every Rick had one of me. But I didn’t see a single version of me anywhere.

Rick’s voice halted my train of thought.

“Not my cup of tea, this place. I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick.”

“Save your anti-Rick speech for the council of Ricks, terror-Rick.”

Leading Rick sneered at my Rick.

They then proceeded to curse at each other several times. I could only giggle a little bit at their interaction. How could the same person be so hostile towards one another?

I almost had to slap myself for such a stupid thought. 

_ Well, duh. It’s Rick we are talking about here. That man is a mystery wrapped in an enigma of tragic backstory and countless emotional trama. None of which he has shared with me. _

“Hey Rick, how come I’m the only version of me in this place?” I asked, voicing my thoughts from earlier.

Rick’s eyebrow raised, he briefly glanced at me as if he didn’t know what to say. Saved by the Ricks, however, because we had arrived at wherever they were bringing us. Two large, golden doors opened to reveal a throne room of some kind. The room was full of many different Ricks and Mortys (still no version of me) and at the head of the room, on a very tall platform, were six thrones - each one containing a Rick with a crazy hairstyle. 

_ This must be the Council of Ricks. _

“Bring up the holograms.”

The Rick on the far right demanded. He had three different spikes of hair on his head, bald spots in between, with a pointy goatee type thing on his chin. Thoughts of wondering what Rick would look like with a beard were quickly answered and regretted.

To our left, pictures of different versions of Ricks laid dead and soaking in their own blood. Except for one which detailed Rick’s head being shoved up his own ass. I KNEW it wasn't supposed to be funny, but I couldn’t help internally giggling at the image. 

“Twenty-seven Ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines-- an unprecedented Rick-icidal epidemic. What say you, Earth Rick C-137?”

The same Rick accused with a very high and mighty tone in his voice. 

“You think _ I _did this?!” Rick fumed, stepping forward towards the Council. 

“Why am I the first Rick you pull in every time a Rick stubs his toe?”

“You have a history of non-cooperation with the council.”

“Yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as Rick. W-w-w-why isn't he here in handcuffs?” 

“Because he's dead, too!” 

A series of gasps and murmurs broke out amongst the Ricks. My Rick stared up at the pictures with a shocked look on his face.

“Who else would you have us question? You fit the profile. Of all the Ricks in the central finite curve, you're the malcontent, the rogue. Not to mention you’re the only one who can’t be trusted with a (Y/n).”

The Council Rick sneered. With the mention of my name, I looked up into this douchebag’s eyes. He glared at me with an emotion that I couldn’t quite read from so far away. _ What a dick. _

My Rick suddenly became much more annoyed than he was before. As if someone had just insulted his mother then slapped him and called him a racist.

“I'm the Rick, and so were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance. You wanted to be safe from the government, so you became a stupid government. That makes every Rick here less Rick than me. And I'm the _only _one who deserves this (Y/n). The rest of you are just jealous mother-fuckers who wish you could have her. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste, and I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, but I think we all like Fluffy disks of cake with syrup on top, and I think we also like to be accused of crimes when there's evidence! So, as they say in Canada, peace oot!”

Rick turned towards me and began to push me towards the exit with his handcuffed hands. _What the hell was that supposed to mean?! He was the only one that deserved me?_

Hollier-than-thou Rick stopped us, however. He ordered that they scan Rick’s portal gun history. Upon doing so, they discovered Rick had been to all the dimensions in which the murders occurred. 

“What?! That's Rick-diculous! I'm obviously being set up!”

“Earth Rick C-137,” every council member stood. “The council of Ricks sentences you to the machine of unspeakable doom, which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp. Also, every 10 seconds, it stabs your balls.”

_ Ouch. _

“Okay, I’ve heard enough.”

In one swift move, Rick elbowed the Rick holding him, making him drop his gun. Rick grabbed it, shot through his cuffs then shot the Rick holding me and shot through my own cuffs. 

“Run (Y/n)!” Rick shouted, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a full sprint. 

At least a dozen Ricks and a couple of Mortys started chasing us. Rick opened tons of different portals to try and distract them. We turned a corner to find a dead-end leading to an open balcony. Just as I thought we were going to stop and surrender to the Ricks, Rick let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. 

“Hold onto me.”

I did as I was told and, with no hesitation at all, Rick jumped from the balcony. I clung to Rick as if I were a baby Koala on its mother - he opened a portal below us and we fell right through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	2. Defying the Bimbo Odds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone who might be slightly triggered by some content in this chapter, I'm sorry.   
But also don't take it too seriously - we are dealing with Rick(s) here

Rick and I ran for what felt like forever, crossing through a ton of different weird dimensions before Rick decided we were safe for a while. We ended up in a strange world where sofa chairs seemed to be the dominant race and the chairs looked like people. So to them, we looked like what they looked to us: moving and talking chairs.

I’d seen weirder things.

Rick took us to a nearby restaurant where we had to sit on disturbing 'chairs' and order food that was shaped like phones. Rick was tinkering with his portal gun as we sat in silence. 

I couldn’t get Alfalfa looking Rick's words out of my head.  _ ‘Not to mention you’re the only one who can’t be trusted with a (Y/n).’ _

Why couldn’t Rick be trusted with me? And why was I the only one of me there? Not to mention, why was Rick being set up for murder by another version of himself. 

“Hey, Rick -” 

He cut me off.

“Look, (Y/n), I know you have a lot of questions, but we don’t have a lot of time. By now, my house is going to be swarming with Ricks. They are probably gonna waste some time messing with Jerry. They won't be able to help themselves. But as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us.”

“If we don’t have a lot of time, why are we sitting in a restaurant?” I muttered to myself. 

“What was that?” Rick arched an accusing eyebrow at me.

“Nothing.” I dismissed, placing an elbow on the table and resting my chin on my hand. 

Rick sighed. “Don’t think I don’t know your body language by now, (Y/n). We’ve spent enough time together for me to know you wear more emotions on your sleeves than Summer after a breakup.”

I lifted my head from my hand, a scowl on my face. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I-I-It means that you’re way too fucking emotional for how smart you are. If you want to continue coming with me on these adventures, you’re going to have to put those useless feelings aside - they will only get us captured or killed.”

I was mad; livid even. But that only proved his point. God, I hated it when Rick was right...which was one-hundred percent of the time. I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back in my creepy seat. 

A silence fell over us as I cooled down. Once my face returned to its normal color and my heart was beating steadily again, I spoke up once more. 

“Rick, why wasn’t there any other version of me at the Citadel?”

Rick sighed again, this time it turned into a groan. 

“You didn’t see any of you there because Ricks don’t bring their (Y/n)s on adventures.”

I sat up in my chair. “Why not?”

Rick set down his screwdriver, looking me dead in the eye. 

“Because 99.99% of (Y/n)s are Ricks’ bedroom toys.”

_ What. The. Actual. Fuck? _

The look on my face must have been tell-tell because Rick raised his hands in defense. 

“Before you get all offended and squeally, just know that you are literally the only (Y/n) with an IQ of over seventy.”

My fists unclenched a bit. 

“What? How is that possible?”

“I’ve done extremely extensive research on that very question and the only-the only possible answer is that you surpassed the genetic odds.”

Somehow, he made perfect sense. 

My parents were from new money - both of them supermodels. Not to say that all models are airheads, but my parents fit the stereotype. They were so dumb they could probably get hit by a parked car. And yet, somehow, I came into the world ready to read chapter books in the first-grade, solve college-level math problems when I was ten, and graduate high school when I was fourteen. True story. 

My mother didn’t even have me - they paid a surrogate to carry me for them. All because my mother didn’t want to ruin her ‘perfect body’. Now of days, I was certain the only reason they had a child was to get a tax break. And that is one of the many reasons I moved out the day I turned eighteen. 

“Well, then what the hell was the whole ‘bedroom toy’ thing?!”

Rick groaned, placing his face in his hands.

“Because the rest of you have such low IQs, there is almost no use for you. You are just a pretty face with big boobs that can give Ricks a good time.”

I couldn’t help but glance down at my ladies.  _ Big? I mean, they're proportionate to my body, but big might be stretching the truth a little bit. _

I looked up to find Rick staring at them as well - his pupils dilated a bit. In all the time I had spent with Rick, he has never  _ once  _ looked at me like that. At least...not that I was aware of. 

“Yeah, most of the other (Y/n)s have at least double Ds. But don’t worry, they’re not natural.”

I rolled my eyes. “Wow, I feel so much better.” I huffed, sarcastically. “I’m sure you’re highly disappointed you got stuck with me instead of some dumb bimbo ready to suck your dick at the drop of a hat.”

Rick’s eyebrow raised in surprise - I was usually never that blunt. But it quickly returned to its usual look of malcontent. He went back to working on his gun. 

“Are you kidding me? I can’t tell you how fucking glad I am that you’re  _ not  _ a bimbo.”

It was my turn to be surprised. 

“(Y/n), I can hook up with a broad anytime I want, but it is  _ extremely  _ rare to find someone who doesn’t irritate me all the time. Granted you have your moments.”

I eyed him.

“But I can work with you without the strong desire of killing you or myself.”

Rick always had a flair for the dramatic - but I almost couldn't process what he was saying to me. Rick Sanchez was basically complimenting me. 

“Wow, Rick I guess I never-“

“Oh shit, dawg!” He interrupted. Sighing, I dropped what I was going to say. 

“My portal gun has been hacked remotely, (Y/n) - obviously by the real killer to frame me. But I was able to trace the signal. Come on.” 

He stood, grabbing my arm to pull me out of the restaurant, but he stopped when he saw two other Ricks and a Morty at the entrance. Swearing in a language I didn’t recognize, he let go of my arm and started to take off his lab coat. 

“(Y/n), take off your shirt.” He whispered.

“What? Why?!” 

“Shh!” He hissed, seeing as I somewhat shouted. “There’s no time to explain, just do as I say!” He ordered. 

Having no time to argue with him, I grabbed my shirt by the end and quickly peeled it off my body. I was silently thanking God I had worn a tank top under my shirt that day - then turned around and cursed him because it had a very low-cut neckline. And after the information I just received about the other (Y/n)s, the last thing I wanted to do was walk around Rick with my boobs showing. 

But I guess beggars can’t be choosers. 

Rick’s ingenious idea of buying us some time was putting our clothes on the people chairs we were sitting in, giving us just enough time to sneak outside and steal the other Ricks’ police ship. 

Rick made sure to let them see it was us stealing is and flipped them off in the process. 

Sometimes I really wondered about how old he was. 

As we soared far away from the Ricks, once again escaping imprisonment, Rick stopped at a space outlet where he knew they kept labcoats. Unfortunately for me, that was all they seemed to carry so we left looking like two fraternal twins trying to convince themselves they looked exactly alike. 

We flew for what felt like forever, tracking whoever hacked into Rick’s portal gun and eventually ending up at some sort of alien wasteland. If we were still on earth, we’d be in the tundra or desert or something.

“Man, this place is  _ way  _ off the grid. This guy does not want to be found.” Rick said, looking around with a curious look on his face. 

“So what exactly do you mean by ‘bedroom toy’?” I blurted out of nowhere. Fucking word vomit.

But I couldn’t help it - it was still fresh in my brain with the added bonus of dozens of questions and images of Rick and I in a romantic setting. As large at the age gap between us was, I honestly wasn’t repulsed or uncomfortable with the idea.

Rick blenched. “Oh my god, a-are you still on that? What do you want me to do, spell out the explicit details?”

He said, nonchalantly. 

“No!” I yelled, my face igniting. “And how would you even know?”

Rick kept his gaze forward, refusing to meet my eye. 

“There’s a reality where you are a porn star; they sell magazines and DVDs at the Citadel.”

How could this man possibly be so casual about the things he was saying?!

“And what, you  _ looked  _ at them?!” I thundered. 

Rolling his eyes, he finally met mine. “Look, (Y/n), you’re making this a bigger deal out of this than it is. Look at the smaller picture here: the only thing that should really matter to you is what happens in our dimension. We work together - we’re friends if you want to put a m-mushy label on it. Nothing has ever happened or will happen between us. I don’t see you that way and I’m more than certain you don’t see me that way either. So can you just drop it?”

His last question was infused with a little more venom. Something about it really hurt - like he was  _ disgusted  _ at the thought it.  _ _

Sinking back in my seat, I crossed my arms over my still slightly exposed breasts. 

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” I dismissed, my voice low. 

I brought my legs up onto my seat, wrapping my arms around them and placing my nose in between them. My own little cacoon to ignore Rick in.  _ If only I had a hoodie so I could go full angsty teen on his ass. _

Neither of us said anything for a while, leaving a very uncomfortable air in the ship. I was starting to worry our friendship would never be the same after we were done catching the real killer. Would it always be this awkward? Rick and I had been friends for so long now, I honestly couldn’t picture my life without him. He was my best friend. Sure, he was an asshole sometimes - most of the time - but I cared for him regardless.

What was hurting me more than anything was knowing Rick would probably get bored of me one day and just start to ignore me.

The thought actually made my chest ache. 

Rick pulled me back down to Earth when he grabbed my shoulder and shook me a few times. 

“(Y/n), look!”

I raised my head from my knees and saw what Rick was pointing at. In the distance, there was a large, egg-shaped building and as we got closer and closer, we saw something horrific.

Every inch of the outside was covered in Mortys - all of them naked, strapped down on all four limbs, and being stabbed in the sides by sharp poking devices. The ear-splitting sound of their cries could be heard from miles away. 

“Why would someone do this?!” I quivered in my seat, my heart wrenched at the sight of all the poor Mortys

“Well, one Morty's enough to hide from the bureaucrats, but you get-you get a whole matrix of Mortys and put them in agonizing pain, that creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks.”

I was very grateful our Morty wasn’t here to see this horrific image. The kid had become somewhat of a little brother to me and there was no way in hell I would want him within a thousand lightyears of this place.

Rick landed the ship at the entrance of the secret lair and opened the hatch, allowing us to hop out. 

Rick looked over at me, nodding his head once - I replied with a nod of my own. This was something we always did before entering into a dangerous place. It was our way of saying, “I’ve got your back and you’ve got mine.” 

Both of our labcoats blowing behind us in the wind, we began our descent into the place where neither of us knew if we would survive. But I did know one thing: if we were to die, we wouldn’t go down without a motherfucking fight. 


	3. Lab Coats Don't Make Great Bandages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Storming the evil lair doesn't go quite as planned...  
Wait. Did they even have a plan?

As a kid, I always loved the Alien movies - Amanda Ripley was my role model. The thought of the opportunity to fight a massive alien in space quickly became my dream job as a little seven-year-old. 

But now, standing in a tunnel that looked like an alien’s digestive system surrounded by, not one, but multiple large alien creatures, I was starting to rethink my judgment as a child. 

Rick tried his best to fight them off but as soon as he killed one, several more would appear. Eventually, he hunched over, sighing in defeat.

That’s when we heard it: a villainous slow clap. We both turned to find the version of Rick we had been looking for - the one who framed my Rick. By his side, he had a scared-looking Morty with an eyepatch and two more giant aliens. This Rick had dark circles under his eyes and a scar running over his mouth. Overall looking like the angsty, rebel Rick who thought he was too cool for school. 

_ Come to think of it, all Ricks think they are too cool for school.  _

“Ooh. Look at you, C-137. You-aren't you a tough customer.” He said, looking his twin up and down. His gaze also shifted over to me. “You two are so adorable in those matching outfits.”

My Rick crossed his arms over his chest. “The slow clap? Really? Kind of played out, dude.” He judged as the other Rick walked towards him. 

“Not in this dimension, it isn't. In fact, I invented it. Nobody else has ever even done it here before.”

“Well, la-di-da.” Rick rolled his eye, clapping in between each word.

Evil Rick slapped his hands away, shouting the slow clapping was his. Groaning, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t have time for this, seize him.”

With a wave of his hand, one of the aliens grabbed both of Rick’s arms, rendering him defenseless. He cursed at them but didn’t seem to put up much of a fight. He was smart enough to know that struggling was pointless and looked weak. Rick seemed as if he wanted to look collected and slightly bored - but I knew there was something deeper behind his eyes. 

He was terrified. 

“As for you, my dear,” the other Rick turned to acknowledge me. 

“You’re different than the others, and I like that about you,” he forcefully grabbed my chin, bringing my face closer to his. I could smell the stale stench of alcohol on his breath - something all Ricks’ seemed to have in common. “But you’re still just a (Y/n); another tool Ricks use without care or remorse. You belong with the rest.”

He threw me by my jaw into the capture of an identical alien monstrosity. It’s lobster-like claws clamped down on my arms, instantly piercing the skin underneath my lab coat. Grunting in pain, I tried my best to yank myself free, effectively making my injuries worse. Evil Rick chuckled at my struggle, turning around to make his dramatic exit. 

“Hey, dickbag!” I yelled, making him stop in his tracks. “I may look like the rest of me, but you are making a  _ very  _ poor mistake in underestimating me.”

He turned to face me again, a new level of smugness on his face. 

“You may have fooled yourself into-into thinking you’re special, but at the end of the day, you’re nothing but a scared little toy - waiting for Rick to come and save you.”

“Oh my god, will you two please shut the fuck up?!”

Evil Rick and I turned to look at C-137. 

“You two sound like your in a super cheesy superhero movie. Y-you might as well tell her she’s never gonna see me again and there’s no use in hoping that I’ll come save her- yada yada yada.”

I rolled my eyes. Of course, Rick would make a snide comment when both of us are probably about to die. 

Ignoring my own Rick, I struggled against the claws again to try and get to the evil one, wanting nothing more than to punch the fucker in the nose. He smirked at my pathetic struggle, turning around once and again and waving his arm for me to be taken away. 

Just before I was out of earshot, I heard him shout one last thing:

“Maybe if you behave, one day you can be my own personal plaything.”

On that note, I swore to all my gods and Lucifer below that I would kill that motherfucker myself. 

~~~

As I watched the blood soak through my lab coat and make a mess of my alien captor's claws, I couldn’t help but think of everything in my life that had led me to this point. 

Every decision, good or bad, had led me to this planet where I was probably going to die or be used for Rick’s own personal gain. 

I wondered where I would’ve been right now if I had just found my own internship instead of listening to my professor. Hell, I probably would have still  _ been  _ in college. 

_ Flashback: _

_ “So, kid, tell me again why you are WASTING your time in college?” _

_ Rick shouted up from his underground cellar. He made me stay up in the garage because apparently there was an ‘age requirement’ to be able to enter. _

** _Bitch, I’m old enough to drink - that should be enough for you. _ **

_ In reality, I knew Rick didn’t want me to touch anything because of the egg incident. I drop ONE alien egg and all of a sudden I’ve got a label as a dropper.  _

_ “Because normal people go to college, Rick. They do it so they can get the jobs they want.” _

_ I looked down the latter, trying to soak up every detail I could see. I was so curious about the cellar and wanted to see what Rick was keeping down there.  _

_ “And whoever told you you were normal?” _

_ Rick said, followed by a loud hammering sound.  _

_ “Jee, thanks, Rick! And are you sure you don’t need help? It’s pretty boring up here.” _

_ He didn’t answer me. Groaning in defeat, I slumped back on Rick’s chair. I was supposed to be getting lab hours and instead, I was sitting on the sidelines.  _

_ “Hey, (Y/n).” _

_ I heard a timid voice say. I looked up to find Morty standing in the doorway.  _

_ “Oh hey, Morty. What’s up?” _

_ He cautiously walked towards me, as if I was a rattlesnake that would attack him at any moment.  _

** _Poor kid. He’s too shy for his own good. _ **

_ “W-w-well, Rick texted me, asking me to come down and help him.” _

_ The smile ran away from my face.  _

_ “Oh, come on!”  _

_ I directed my shouts down towards the old idiot doing god knows what.  _

_ “Are you kidding?!  _ ** _Morty _ ** _ gets to go down and I don’t?! I’m ten years older than this kid and far less of a safety hazard!” _

_ Forgetting Morty was standing right there, I looked up to find him giving me an unamused look.  _

_ “No offense, kid.” _

_ He rolled his eyes. “No no no no, it’s fine.” _

_ With no retort from Rick, Morty climbed his way down the latter, leaving me still above ground pouting over being left out.  _

_ Twenty or so minutes later, all the noises stopped and Morty emerged from the hole, shortly followed by Rick. Morty quickly exited the garage, leaving Rick and me alone.  _

_ Rick motioned me to get out of his chair. Rolling my eyes, I did as I was told, allowing him to sit down and start tinkering with something at his desk.  _

_ “(Y/n), college is completely pointless. All it is is a way of scamming people out of thousands of dollars for a sub-par education. The government spends millions trying to send a group of attractive people to our moon with little chance of survival. I have a spaceship literally made out of trash that can travel between dimensions. You can learn more with me in one evening than you could learn in seven years at the most pristine college.” _

_ I didn’t want to admit it out loud, but Rick actually had a very good point. I’d only been working with him for a few weeks and I was learning more than any of my classes taught me.  _

_ “Well, what would you suggest I do?” _

_ “Drop out. Wasn’t that obvious?” He didn’t hesitate for a moment.  _

_ “Rick, I’ve already invested in four semesters. I’d basically just be throwing my money away!” _

_ He looked up, eying me.  _

_ “ _ ** _Your _ ** _ money?” _

_ I glared at him, but his accusing tone was right - it wasn’t my money. My parents were paying for my degree since I had never asked anything else of them. But regardless, they would NOT be happy to hear they flushed several grand down the toilet.  _

_ “Whatever, money is money, and I need to start making my own.” I huffed.  _

_ Rick was quiet for a minute - he seemed to be thinking. _

_ “You know, you could come work for me.” He said, nonchalantly.  _

_ “Haha. Very funny.” I turned away from him to look at all the strange inventions he had on the shelves in his garage. I could not tell what a single one of them did.  _

_ “I’m serious.” _

_ I turned to find him staring at me with those huge eyes. A stranger would have thought him annoyed or angry, but I had gotten a good idea of his body language.  _

_ “Rick, you live with your daughter and you invent things out of a garage. How could you possibly pay me?” _

_ He stood, making his way over to me step by step.  _

_ “I’m here because of my daughter and grandkids, but don’t think that means I’m a broke ass. H-how the fuck do you think I afford all of-all of this shit?” _

_ He opened his arms to imply his inventions. This actually stumped me - I guess I’d never really thought about it before. Rick made some pretty intricate things, it would only make sense he had some sort of income to be able to afford a supplier.  _

_ Rick rolled his eyes at the sight of me thinking.  _

_ “Just think about it.” _

And think about it I did. Two weeks later, I was studying for an exam, reading the most boring textbook anyone has ever written ever. In the middle of a particularly boring sentence, I stopped. I began to stare off into space, racking my brain for a logical enough reason to convince myself to keep reading. 

But I couldn’t find one. 

Slamming my book shut, I reached over and grabbed my phone that was sitting on my nightstand. 

**Alright, you win. What happens now?**

I didn’t wait long for a reply. 

**Drop out and consider yourself hired. Your first day is tomorrow. Don’t be late.**

And that is how I ended up working for Rick Sanchez and ultimately ending up in an evil Ricks’ fortress with alien claws digging into my skin. 

_ I guess if I die here, dropping out of college wouldn’t have made a difference. The Ricks still would have dragged me to the Citadel and I would still be wearing this stupid lab coat. _

After a few more painful minutes of being carried by my bleeding arms, the monster opened a door and threw me inside. I scuffed the ground, landing on my chest and skidding a few feet.

_ Well, that was unnecessary.  _

Groaning in pain and annoyance, I staggered to my feet, brushing myself off as best I could. It took me a hot minute, but I finally looked up and what I found was a bit surprising. 

I had been placed in a room full of Mortys and (Y/n)s - all of them looking up at me with terror in their eyes. 

Surreal didn’t even begin to explain the feeling of seeing other versions of myself. Especially since most of them wore makeup - that had been long since lost and was now running down their faces along with their tears - as well as fake nails and designer looking clothing. 

Basically the polar opposite of me. 

_ Well, there’s something you don’t see every day.  _

My throbbing arms screamed for medical attention. I ripped off my stupid lab coat, tearing pieces off the end seam and using them as makeshift bandages. Upon tying the last bandage, I felt a timid tap on my shoulder. I looked up to find one of the Mortys staring up at me with hopeful eyes. 

“I-I-I-Is he with you?” He stuttered. 

I crouched down to his level, placing a kind hand on his trembling shoulder. He stiffened at my touch, probably scared I was going to hurt him. 

“It’s okay,” I reassured him. ”Is who with me, Morty?”

I knew this wasn’t my Morty, but I couldn’t help but feel connected to him - and all of them. They were the little brother I never had. 

“The One True Morty. There has been a prophecy he will liberate us from this prison and end the reign of the Ricks. He will save us all!”

All of the Mortys cheered, shouting various chants about the “One True Morty”.

_ Are they talking about my Morty? _

Once they all quieted down, I squeezed the Morty in front of me’s shoulder, standing and facing all the other Mortys. 

“Listen Mortys, my name is (Y/n) (L/n) from Earth dimension C-137. I was brought here in place of my own Morty who is safe at home. I don’t know anything about this ‘One True Morty’ you speak of, but listen to me: you cannot wait for some saving grace to get you out of here.”

The Mortys murmured amongst each other, looking confused and even more scared. 

“Hey,” I spoke up again. “I know you’re scared, but that doesn’t mean you should sit here and wait for your Rick to come and save you. Because he’s not going to; you can’t let yourself be defined by your relationship to Rick. Your destiny is your own!”

One of the Mortys stood, “She’s right! I’m sick of being a human shield!”

One by one they all stood, shouting what they wanted to be. Their fear was gone and replaced with determination. 

Suddenly, the door opened and one of the off-brand Predators came in yelling, “Hey! Keep it down in here!”

We all turned to look at it.  _ Wow, I didn’t know they could talk. _

All of the Mortys stood up, telling their war cries and charging the beast keeping them captive. They punched and kicked at it, immediately bringing it to the ground. 

Back in the room, once all the Mortys exited, some of the (Y/n)s attempted to follow, but I stopped them. 

“Woah there, ladies. We need to have a separate discussion. Sit down, all of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rick's POV next chapter


	4. Saved Your Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I lied. This will be in 3rd person cause it was easier XD  
This chapter is a bit shorter.

3rd Person POV

“You’ve lived quite a life, Rick,” Evil Rick stated, watching the screen as the memories of his twin’s life flashed by. “It’s a real shame you’re not gonna be around to see it through.”

C-137 sent him a deathly glare. He would have flipped him off, but his tied limbs proved that to be an impossible task for the moment. Trying to ignore him further, and only seeing each frame for a moment, he quietly watched his life unfold in front of him. Things he invented, Beth growing up, messing with Jerry, women he bedded, Morty as a baby, and finally (Y/n).

Clips of them fighting aliens, flying in the spaceship, and inventing in the garage made Rick’s eyes water. 

_ Dammit.  _ He thought to himself.  _ I might never see her again. I’ll never be able to tell her - _

His thoughts were interrupted by his own voice. 

“You’re crying? Over a (Y/n)?”

“No,” Rick furrowed his eyebrow and glared at his captor. “I’m just allergic to dipshits.”

“Ugh, pathetic.” Evil Rick crossed his arms over his chest. “We both know that if there's any truth in the universe, it's that Ricks don't care about (Y/n)s.”

Rick opened his mouth to retort, but someone beat him to it. Or rather, someones.

The door opened and dozens of Mortys poured in, all screaming battle cries. Evil Rick was thrown, shock written all over his face. It was quickly shoved aside when the Mortys started to overrun him. 

“Do your worst, you little bastards! Kill me! Do it! Do it!”

Still strapped to the table, Rick couldn’t help but smirk at the scene in front of him and be a little proud of all the Mortys. Even though none of them were his own.

“Morty, wait!”

A familiar feminine voice came from the entrance. 

The Mortys halted their attack on Evil Rick, still holding him down. Rick couldn’t see the door, but he already knew who it was. He heard slow footsteps coming towards him until he saw her. Her arms were bloody and wrapped in make-shift bandages - obviously made from the lab coat she was wearing before. She paid Rick no mind, her focus clearly and sharply planted on Evil Rick. 

“Well well well,” he chanted, struggling in the Mortys’ grip. “Look what the Mortys dragged in.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, raising her right arm and pointing some sort of gun at him. 

“Funny. Come up with that super original phrase alongside the slow clap?”

She mused, sarcastically. 

“Damn, this girl has some fire! The council is right C-137, you truly don’t deserve this (Y/n).”

Rick piped up. “If you guys are going to start monologuing again, can you at least kill me first so I don’t have to hear it?”

She shot a glare over to Rick. 

“Oh don’t worry,” she moved her finger over the trigger. “This won’t take long.”

_ BANG _ . 

And with that bang, Evil Rick wasn’t going to be a problem to anyone anymore. 

“Whose too emotional now, bitch?”

~~~

After releasing Rick from the table, as well as freeing all the Mortys that were being held captive outside of the dome, he called the other Ricks. 

Within seconds, several portals opened and Ricks came flying in to seize the area and assist the stray Mortys. 

Rick and I stood to the side as we watched everything unfold. A medic Rick gave me medical attention on my arms, removing the soiled red cloth and caring for the wounds properly. He told me they would most likely leave a scar.

_ Nice.  _ I thought, thinking about the badass scars that would remain, reminding me of what a kickass I am.

“What will happen to all these Mortys?” I asked the member of the Rick council that stood by us. 

“They'll go back to their families, attend school regularly, play video games, date girls. Poor little Rickless bastards.” He answered.

I was happy to know they would be safe, but I also knew they had been through a lot. I only hoped they could go about their normal lives. 

Rick and I were brought back to the Citadel where the council formally apologized. They tried to present Rick with a coupon for a free replacement Morty, but after receiving a glare from me, he politely refused. 

After that, Rick and I walked side-by-side, hands in our pockets, out of the Citadel in silence. He stared ahead with a blank expression on his face - as if he was coming home from the same boring job he worked every day. Which was true, but it was anything but boring.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” I said, snarkily.

Rick eyed me. “For what?”

Taking a hand out of my pocket, I hit him in the arm. 

“For saving your life, dumbass!”

“All right, (Y/n), don’t break an arm patting yourself on the back. We didn’t die - whoop dee skippy do.”

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his flask, taking a huge swig from it and belching loudly.

I sighed in defeat. “You know Rick, I can’t believe you sometimes. That right there was a perfect opportunity to show some humanity, you know? Connect with me a little.”

He looked over at me with an annoyed expression on his face.

“(Y/n), if you want connection, go be a part of some stupid club, like those dumb Ricks. You know, maybe I don't connect because I'm the Rickest Rick there is. And I think it’s obvious at this point that the Rickest Rick has the (Y/n)est (Y/n).”

“The (Y/n)est (Y/n)?” 

“Yup.”

A smirk spread across my face. 

“I think I like the sound of that.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t get too big for your loafers, Buster Brown. A cocky (Y/n) can lead to some big problems.”

I nudged him playfully with my shoulder. 

“Oh please, I would only be a problem for you.”

Rick smiled every so slightly - the first time I’d seen all day. 

“If only you knew.”

~~~

Rick portaled us back to his house and he gave me a ride in his ship. We rode in comfortable silence, both of us being exhausted. I almost fell asleep, but Rick slamming on the breaks perked me right up. He opened the hatch and jumped out with me.

“You can have the day off tomorrow; I dare say you’ve deserved it.”

He said, facing me at the end of my incredibly long driveway. 

In my tired state, I didn’t have much control over my body. My limbs started to move before I could even think about stopping them. My arms found a new home around Rick’s shoulders, bringing him down to my height.

He immediately tensed up. 

“(Y/n), no, I hate this.”

He tried to squirm out of my grip, but it only tightened. 

“Nope. Too bad. You have to endure this one.”

It was a running joke between us that I would try and hug him when things got a little chummy. He always managed to get out of it, yelling at me in the process, but I wouldn’t let him get away this time. I was going to hug this man even if it meant him turning me into a roach and stepping on me. 

Rick did not return the hug, but he unclenched more and more with every passing second. 

After I had my fill of hugging him, I released my grip, leaning back to look at the inevitable look of annoyance and disgust on his face. 

But it wasn’t there. 

The energy between us flipped one-eighty as he stared at me with those big eyes. I felt him timidly place his hands on my hips. Everything I was terrified in this universe and every dimension did not even  _ compare  _ to the fear I felt at this moment. Rick glanced down at my lips then back up at me - we both knew it was coming. A shy look before he raised a hand to my cheek and pulled my face closer. My name fell off his lips as they brushed mine in a slow-motion mess of confusion and rising heat. You would think that after all the hours I'd spent with Rick - watching him talk, laugh and frown - that I would know all there was to know about his lips. But I hadn't imagined how warm they would feel pressed up against my own. 

But it was not like in films or stories. No fireworks or popping legs. But somehow, a weight was lifted from my chest. 

The kiss was brief. I hesitantly looked up at him. The swirls of emotion I saw there made me gasp. Lust and desire. All the fear came flooding back through my entire body. Releasing him from my grip, I began to back away from him. This man who had been my best friend for months was now the cause of my fear. 

“I gotta go,” I mumbled, incoherently, sprinting away as fast as I could. 

I heard Rick calling after me, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. My feet carried me up my long-ass driveway and didn’t stop until I was face first in my pillows, screaming muffled cries until my vocal cords hurt.

_ What the fuck have I done? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FEAR NOT!  
This story is not over by a long shot :D  
I will be following a few other episodes and including some of my own stuff. Stay tuned for the questionable relationship between you and an eighty-year-old man XDXDXDXDXD


	5. Getting riggity-riggity WRECKED, SON

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, things are awkward now. But what happens when you are thrust into an even more uncomfortable situation involving a very, very drunk Rick?  
I guess we'll see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey....I'm back.   
Sorry it's been so long, but here's a nice, long chapter to make it up.
> 
> Heavier language in this chapter.

As instructed, I didn’t go to work the next day. Or the day after that - or the one after that. I didn’t go to work for an entire week. In fact, I didn’t leave my  _ bedroom _ for the whole week. Having a private bathroom, mini-fridge, and television made this easy. Sometimes it paid to come from a rich family. Pun intended.

But I couldn’t bring myself to face Rick. I replayed our kiss in my head like it was a song annoyingly stuck in my head. 

_ What the actual fuck is wrong with me? Rick is three times my age, not to mention my boss and good friend!  _

There wasn’t a second of the day I didn’t think about it. Even when I was asleep, I found myself dreaming about him. Stupid subconscious.

On the seventh day of my isolation, in an attempt to make myself feel a little better, I decided to shower, shave, put on real clothes, and make myself look presentable. Even though I had no plans for the day, Google said making yourself presentable was the quickest way to feel like a human again. 

So far, it wasn’t working. 

I wasn’t wearing anything too fancy. Just black jeans with a gray tank top covered by a red and black checkered flannel. I wore black and white converse and my hair was in its most natural state after drying from the shower. On the outside, I didn’t look too shabby, but it didn’t show the self-deprecating screaming on the inside. 

As I was pondering how many seasons of ‘The Office’ I would watch today, something bright and green blinded me, immediately interrupting my thoughts. I cringed away at the harsh intrusion, utterly confused and concerned as to what it could possibly be. But then I stopped. My brain made the connection and no sooner than I did, I looked up and found myself staring into the eyes of none other than Rick Sanchez.

_ Fuck me gently. _

“Rick, what the f-“

He cut me off. He was famous for doing that. 

“(Y/n), before you get all-all emotional and start yelling at me and shit, I need your help.”

_ Doth my ears deceive me? _

“Why? What’s going on?!”

I started to get worried. Rick wouldn’t have barged in and said he  _ needed  _ me if it wasn’t something serious. 

“It’s an emergency, come on!”

Without another word, he reached over and grabbed my arm, dragging me through his portal. 

Going through a portal is...weird. No matter how many times I had been through one with Rick, I still couldn’t wrap my head around the feeling. Almost as if you were walking through a waterfall, but without getting wet. It makes you feel cold and refreshed in a sense. There’s no pain or feeling of being distorted - it’s what I guess walking through Jello would be like. 

In the few seconds it took to go through the space door,y brain was racking for every possible situation. From cockroaches to cyborg assassins, I was cooking up every outcome. 

But, and that’s a big but, when we emerged on the other side I found myself inside the Smith house which was  _ packed  _ with people. Some human, most not, but I knew instantly there was no emergency. 

“I’m back, BITCHES!!!”

Cheers erupted from all beings in the house. I found myself instantly uncomfortable and turned to go back through the portal, but discovered it was already gone. 

_ Great. Now I’m stuck here.  _

My house was several miles away and I was too lazy to walk that far. 

Turning back to the drunk lunatic, I eyed him. 

“Rick, what the hell is this?”

He looked back at me with his own accusing look. 

“It’s a party. What did you think?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I thought there would be some kind of emergency. You said you needed my help.”

Rick turned away from me and grabbed the drinks of a couple of people around him, downing them instantly. 

“I do need your help, (Y/n).”

He turned back to me and for a moment, just a moment, I thought he was going to say something sincere. 

“I need your help getting riggity-riggity WRECKED, SON!!!”

More cheers exploded, encouraging Rick’s growing smirk. I thought of a million and three insults I could scream at him, in several different languages, but I bit my tongue. I looked him dead in the eye, shook my head, rolled my eyes, and stomped away from him. If I was stuck here, I at least didn’t want to be around all these people and I knew there was one place no one would be: Rick’s garage. 

I got there as quick as I could, having been stopped by several high school boys and even a few aliens, slamming the door behind me. I pressed my back against the wood, bending my knees to slide down it. I could feel tears threatening to spill over.

_ Don’t cry, bitch. Don’t you dare cry. _

Taking some deep breaths, I somehow managed to not let a single tear fall. I got up off the floor and decided to take a look at what Rick had been doing while I was gone.

I expected to find at least a dozen new gadgets for me to play with, but no. There was not a single new invention to be seen. Rick definitely wasn’t the organized type - quite the opposite actually, but I learned his version of organization. And everything was exactly where it was a week ago, albeit with many added beer cans and wine bottles. 

It seemed as though he had done nothing but drink for the last week. 

_ What the hell have you done, Rick? _

I knew Rick was an alcoholic, hell he didn’t even  _ try  _ to hide it, but I’d never seen it this bad. 

Before I could do any further digging on what the old man had been up to while I was gone, Morty burst through the door in a panting panic. 

“Morty? Are you okay?” I asked. 

Looking up at me, I saw the relief wash over his face. 

“(Y/n)! Thank god you’re here!”

Sweat was dripping down his forehead and his hair was a mess. I walked over to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. 

“Calm down, buddy. Now, what’s going on?”

He takes a few more deep breaths before explaining. 

“It’s been an absolute shit-show around here for the last week. Rick has done nothing except drink and yell at us. H-h-he’s been in the worst mood I’ve ever seen him in times a million. I don’t know what happened between you two, but it obviously pissed him off. So why don’t you just go and apologize and be the bigger person because we  _ both  _ know Rick isn’t going to do that!”

Morty looked pissed, but I knew he was stressed out and probably hadn’t gotten much sleep. 

“It’s a little more complicated than that, Morty,” I explained, softly. “Your grandpa is upset with me for…”

My eyes fell. I couldn’t find the words.  _ Should I tell him? God, how would he react? _

“You don’t have to hide it, you know.”

Morty said, having calmed down a bit. I looked back up at him. 

“Ever since you started hanging out with Rick, he has changed. He’s not as much of a dick to all of us and usually just keeps to himself. I know you care for him just as he does for you. Y-y-y-you’re the only one that can talk him out of things. You’re the second smartest person I know, so I know you can fix this.”

The anger from his eyes was gone. All that was left was desperation and a hint of remorse. I felt for the kid, I mean, all he wanted was his grandpa to go back to being a regular asshole instead of a drunk, abusive asshole. And to be honest, I had missed him. I’d missed adventures and almost dying on the daily. But most of all, I missed Rick. I missed his sarcastic comments, his jokes, and his carefree attitude. 

Even the way he belched in the middle of words. It was just everything that made Rick, Rick. 

I knelt down to Morty’s height - the poor kid was as short as he could be - and took him into my arms. He stiffened immediately, much like Rick, he wasn’t used to physical contact. Let alone positive contact. 

“I’m sorry, Morty. You’re right, I do care about your Grandpa. Too much so to let him destroy himself like this.” I released him and stood. “I’ll go talk to him.”

Morty sighed with relief, “Thank you.”

Leaving the garage, the first thing I heard was a crash and the crowd of teenagers and aliens chanting, “Kick his ass!” over and over. 

Pushing my way through, I found a friend of Summer’s in a fistfight with Abradolph Lincloer - a failed experiment of mine and Rick’s who escaped several months ago. 

“Lincloer!” I yelled, causing the fight to stop and everyone around to stop chanting. Since he was distracted, the teenager took the opportunity to land one last blow to Lincloer’s jaw and left him groaning on the carpet. The party continued almost without missing a beat. 

I pushed another drunk being out of the way to get to Lincloer who was currently coughing up blood. 

“Are you okay?” I offered a hand to help him up. 

He glared at me and then my hand, but reluctantly took it. I hoisted him up and helped steady him once on his feet. 

“I’m fine.” He huffed. 

Awkward silence. 

“Look, I know you have a perfect reason to hate Rick and I, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t glad you’re okay.”

Clutching his injured ribs, he gave me a ghost of a smile. 

When creating Lincloer, I helped Rick figure out the perfect balance of traits from both past leaders. I made sure to give him the humility of Lincoln, but the firmness of Hitler. When he was learning to interact during ht experiments, I always made sure he was comfortable. Rick would get after me, telling me he was just an artificial bag of bones, but I couldn’t help but feel he was a real human being. 

My endless heart Rick kept yelling at me for at work. 

Anyway, while I knew Lincloer despised us for bringing him into this world, he had more of a soft spot for me for treating him well.

“Come with me.” 

I led him into the kitchen, getting an ice pack from the freezer for his busted jaw. He thanked me and I told him not to go running off again before continuing my search for Rick.

Searching the house yet again, my eyes just barely glanced the back of Rick’s balding head when the ground started to shake. A green hue covered the entire house, cluing me in on exactly what was happening. Somehow, Rick’s giant portal device had been activated - or most likely broken. 

Within seconds, the entire house was transported to another dimension. The crowd murmured amongst themselves, obviously confused. Even Rick looked taken aback, but not completely worried. He walked a few feet over to the back door, sliding it open and observing the new surroundings. 

“Huh,” he huffed, inquisitively. “Big star in the sky,” he took a deep breath, “oxygen-rich atmosphere, giant testicle monsters...We’ll be fine - LET’S PARTAY!!!”

And just like that, the party continued. But not after one of Summer’s friends ran out into the new and possibly hostile environment just to be swallowed immediately by one of the ‘testicle monsters’.

Sighing, I continued my path towards Rick, only to be stopped by a hand on my shoulder. I turned to find Birdperson staring down at me with his intensely sharp gaze. 

“(Y/n),” he stated in greeting.

“Hey, Birdperson.”

Birdperson and I met before when Rick needed to meet with him for some reason. He didn’t really tell me the details, just brought me along to keep him entertained. Though Birdperson was a monotone, hard to read creature, he seemed to take a strange fascination with me. In the times since that I’ve been around him, he always kept a keen eye on me. 

“(Y/n),” he says again, not missing a beat, “I can sense the confusion and anger within you. I do not think it is wise to approach Rick, especially considering how intoxicated he seems. Your transaction will only end horribly.”

I glanced over to where Rick was, only to find him now outside with Morty and Summer.

“I’ve seen much worse.”

Turning from my friend, I grabbed the closest bottle of alcohol to me and took a giant swig. Whatever it was, it was strong and took a bit of the edge off almost immediately. 

“(Y/n), do you know what ‘Wubba Lubba Dub Dub’ means?”

“What? Rick’s stupid, nonsense catchphrase?”

“It’s not nonsense at all.” Birdperson stopped me before I took another giant swig of the mysterious liquor, taking the bottle away from me and throwing it away.

“In my people's tongue, it means, "I am in great pain. Please help me."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. 

“Well, I’ve got news for you, buddy. He’s saying it ironically.”

“No, (Y/n). Rick is, indeed, in very deep pain. That is why he must numb himself.”

“Come on, Birdperson. We both know Rick is not that complicated. He’s just a huge asshole. He doesn’t care about anybody.”

My voice wavered just slightly at the end of my sentence. I came out here to talk to Rick about the other night and put it behind us, but everything about this night was just a reminder of everything that drove me crazy about Rick. How much of a dick he actually was. And at the end of the day, he only cared for himself. He could never care for me in any sort of way - especially not in  _ that  _ way. I’m just an idiot, looking for an answer that will never be there. 

“Rick may be difficult at times,” Birdperson said. “I know more than most, but he is still human no matter how far he tries to bury it. I have never seen Rick more calm or human than when you are in his company. Something about you balances him out even more so than Morty or his own offspring. You have every right to be angry with Rick constantly, but the mistake you make is thinking there is no soul inside him.”

Birdperson paused, waiting for a response or a reaction. I have him neither for a few moments. I looked around to find Rick, who was now it a large group of people all listening to Gearhead play some sort of harp and sing about the gears. 

I wanted nothing more than to be standing next to Rick, wasted alongside him, and having a good time. Just like things used to be. I hated that I wanted it, but my heart pleaded against my brain. 

_ When the fuck did this get so fucking complicated? _

Oh, yeah. When Rick stuck his tongue down my throat. 

I guess he was right when he said I was too emotional for my own good. Stupid fucking shithead. God, why did he always have to be right?

“What do you and Morty know that I don’t?” I asked. 

“How much Rick truly cares for you.” He replied. 

I let out a long sigh, nodding slightly. I patted Birdperson on the shoulder and moved passed him to finally make my way towards Rick.

“And the gears they turned for a thousand years. Until the dark day that they stopped.” 

I heard Gearhead sing as he strummed his harp. I looked over to Rick and saw that, even though he was still totally wasted, he was calm for the moment. Perfect time to finally talk to him. 

“Rick, we need to talk-”

Behind me, I heard the door slam open and Morty’s voice filled my ears. 

“Rick, I got ‘em! I got the crystals!” He shouted. 

Rick looked at Morty then me. 

“H-hold that thought, dollface.” Placing an arm on my shoulder, he all but shoved me aside to acknowledge his grandson. 

“All right! You did it, Morty.”

“Rick, wait! There's something you need to know.” Morty sounded distressed. “I couldn't have done it without Lincoler. He said that he was really sorry and that he loved you like a father. He only wanted you to accept him, and he hopes that his final act would redeem him in your eyes. He sacrificed himself to save all of us, Rick. He died.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. 

“Lincoler is dead?” My voice was barely a whisper.

Morty’s teary eyes lifted up to mine, now realizing I was standing there. 

“Yes. He also said he always loved you in a different kind of way that he could ever really describe. He wanted to thank you for always being so kind to him.”

Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I dashed forward and grabbed Morty in a hug. He seemed a little startled but quickly returned it. 

“At least he didn’t die in vain. He got these crystals.”

I released Morty and turned to Rick who was now sitting on the couch studying the crystals. They were long and purple, much like an amethyst. Putting two and two together, I figured they were somehow going to get us back to Earth.

My suspensions were squashed, however, when Rick took out a credit card, chopped one of the crystals into powder, formed it into a line, and  _ snorted  _ it in one go.

“And these babies just saved this lame-ass party! Wubba lubba dub dub! Play something. Somebody, play something.”

_ What. The. Fuck. _

Music started playing again and Morty and I watched in shock as he made up a dance he called the ‘Rick Dance’ completely high of the crystals. Something tickled the back of mind - a memory of Rick talking about the best high he’s every experienced with something called K-lax. How convenient we landed in a dimension that seemed to have them everywhere. 

After the idiotic dancing, Morty exploded. 

“What the hell was that?! I thought those crystals were supposed to help us get home or something!”

“What? No, no, no. I can get us home whenever I want to. But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them? I'm starting to come down, Morty. Crystal kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high.”

I was still frozen in shock. I watched as Morty threw the rest of the crystals out the door, only to be snatched up by one of the monsters outside. Morty continued to yell at Rick, announcing that the party was over and to take us home immediately. Rick started a boo directed at Morty that everyone joined in on then disappeared into the garage to reverse the problem. 

Coming out of my frozen state, my fists clenched. My vision was clouded in red and I’m pretty sure steam was coming out of my ears.

Almost in slow motion, I made my way to the garage, finding a still very drunken and slightly high Rick fumbling around. He was having a hard time fiddling with what he was holding.

“(Y/n), pass me that screwdriver on the shelf over there. I’ve got to get us home before Morty gets his panties in a twist again.”

Ignoring his request, I marched over to him, grabbing his labcoat by one of the lapels and turning him towards me. And with my other hand, I clocked him right in the jaw as hard as I could.

Rick barely had time to catch himself on his workbench. 

“What the FUCK?! You stupid bitch!”

“No, fuck you, Rick! You don’t get to fucking talk - it’s my turn now! What the fuck is wrong with you? First, you drag me here after we haven’t talked for a week just for me to watch you get shitfaced and make an absolute fool of yourself. Then we somehow get teleported into another dimension and you don’t give a single fuck. And THEN, you send Morty, Lincoler, and a random girl out into the unknown environment to get crystals just so you can get fucking high?! What the actual fuck is wrong with you?! What if it had been Morty who died instead of Lincoler, huh?! What would you have done then? Oh, wait. I already know. You wouldn’t have given a single shit because you NEVER DO! EVEN IF I HAD GONE OUT THERE AND DIED, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE CARED. WOULD NOT EVEN BAT A FUCKING EYE!”

Rick glared at me in anger but said nothing. Something very unusual for him.

I was huffing and puffing, out of breath from my screaming. But as quickly as it came, the anger faded away and was replaced with despair. My eyes fell from his.

“You’re a cold, cruel man, Rick Sanchez.”

Without another word, I reached for Rick’s labcoat, retrieving his portal gun. I opened a portal to my house, tossed the gun aside, and stepped through, leaving my closest friend behind me. 

I thought about Morty, Summer, and the whole Smith family. People I considered to be the family I never really had. Rick, who was my boss, my mentor, and my best friend. And now, once again alone in the sad, little apartment I called my own, I knew I would never see any of them again. 

_ Goodbye, Rick Sanchez. I truly hope you can find something or someone you care about. Even if it’s not me.  _

I finally let the tear fall. They were never-ending until exhaustion took over my body and I fell into an uneasy unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, there is more. So much more.


	6. Frozen in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick is drunk...again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Didn't proofread - wanted to get this out asap.

It had been three weeks since Rick froze time and things were starting to catch up with him. 

The party, the death of Lincoler, (Y/n) screaming at him and punching him. He could still feel where her fist collided with his jaw. A painful reminder of what she said to him. 

Rick couldn’t give a single fuck what most people said or thought about him. They’re all just dumb pieces of shit anyway. Yet for some stupid fucking reason, he couldn’t get (Y/n)’s voice out of his head. 

_ You’re a cold, cruel man, Rick Sanchez. _

It’s not like no one had ever said that to him - or that he wasn’t fully aware of its truth. But her voice just echoed in his head. The hurt in her eyes haunted his sleep. 

_ Get your fucking shit together, asshole! _

He screamed at himself. But his mind could not clear itself of her. He even dreamed of her. 

Cleaning the house and messing around with Summer and Morty was a nice distraction. He could even keep his mind elsewhere if he was deep into inventing something. But when the dark curtains went up so they could sleep, not even alcohol could numb his brain. 

He always ended up in the exact same place. 

He stepped through his portal only to be blinded by sunlight. 

_ Agh. Why does she have to have such big windows? _

He groaned to himself as he tried to adjust to the constant sunlight. Focusing in, he saw what he weakly came to see: (Y/n) sleeping peacefully. Despite being frozen in time, there was a calm peace about her - like he could still see her chest slowly rising and falling with her breath. 

Rick sat down on the edge of her bed, silently staring at her. He was glad she was asleep when he stilled time. He didn’t think he could bear to see the hurt in her eyes as he did before. 

She slept on her stomach, one arm underneath the pillow and the other resting by her face. Her hair was a bit of a mess, covering the majority of her face. 

_ She must’ve fallen asleep whilst crying. I’m such a jackass. _

Reaching over to her, he brushed the hair away, revealing her relaxed face. He wondered if she still dreamed or if she was stranded in frozen darkness. He almost hoped she dreamed peacefully.

_ What the fuck has gotten into me? _

After moving her hair, he let his hand linger on her cheek. Her skin was so incredibly soft - he realized this was the first time he’d ever actually touched her face. Rick wasn’t really the biggest believer in a ranking of beauty. Mostly because he couldn’t give enough of a shit to compare the eye color or breast size of several different celebrities.

But Rick knew she was breathtaking.

Hell, every Rick knew it. 

Rick had the pleasure and misfortune of ending up with the most unique (Y/n) of them all. He could stand to be around her, but he never knew the pleasure of feeling his skin against hers. Being buried deep inside her and feeling her hushed whimpers of bliss. 

_ Fuck.  _

He was getting hard just thinking about it. 

He must’ve  _ really  _ been drunk. Rick only got really sappy and horny when he was absolutely wasted. 

_ God fucking dammit. (Y/n), why did you have to do this to me? _

He cupped his growing erection, silently screaming at it to calm the fuck down. He took his flask out of his coat pocket and took a giant swig - almost downing the whole thing. 

Rick glanced down at his sleeping beauty, wondering when it all went wrong. 

_ Oh, yeah. When I stuck my tongue down her throat, thinking I could get rid of my blue balls once and for all, but just ended up fucking everything up. _

And now, she hated him. Wanted nothing to do with him. 

Maybe it was for the best. She was never safe with him anyway. She was absolutely right - she could die at any moment and he wouldn’t be able to stop it. 

Yeah. 

It was better this way. 

She would be safer and happier without him. He needed to forget and so did she. 

Rick stood, taking out his portal gun and opening a door back home. He turned to look at her one last time. He wouldn’t be back again. 

_ Fuck it. _

He walked over to her once again, bending over and placing a kiss on her forehead. 

“Goodbye, kid. You’re a pain in my ass, but the only one worth bearing.”

God, Rick hated himself so much. 

But whatever, it’s not like he was going to remember anyway.

Taking another drink of the strong liquid in his flask, he returned home, already thinking of the needed modifications for the memory drainer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon, I promise ;D


	7. Hiveminds Don't Make Good Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick runs into an old flame and things get hot. Meanwhile, you are not having the best time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I did not proofread. 
> 
> I'm sorry, I'm so freaking lazy and I just want to get things out for you guys XD
> 
> Also, I'm just realizing how many times I have typed 'Rick rolled' and now it bothers me XDXDXD  
#NEVERGONNAGIVEYOUUPNEVERGONNALETYOUDOWN
> 
> Fucking Grammarly is even like, 'Nah, bitch. You spelled it wrong, this is a meme.'

Morty walked into the garage, hoping to ask Rick to help him with his homework, but found him stumbling around drunk. Morty sighed in defeat, turning to leave his grandpa to it, but something caught his eye.

He noticed the memory draining helmet sitting on Rick’s workbench with a green memory bulb sticking out of it. Morty had never seen a green one before - despite Rick trying to convince him they weren’t color-coded.

He walked over to the helmet, happy that Rick seemed to be ignoring him in his drunken state. He removed the bulb from the helmet and checked to see how it was labeled. Morty almost dropped it when he saw what was written on it:

** _Y/n_ **

A thousand thoughts and emotions ran through Morty in a manner of seconds. He was horribly confused, but he knew one thing was for certain - Rick completely erased Y/n from his mind. 

_ What the actual hell? _

He thought to himself, looking over to find Rick now passed out on the floor. Morty took a deep breath, pocketing the bulb. He knew he had to keep it safe until he needed to bring Rick to his senses.

~~~

Several weeks later, Rick asked Morty and Summer if they wanted to go on an adventure with him. Of course, they said yes and were soon deep in space, listening to some great tunes. 

They all danced in their seats and sang the words. For a moment, both Summer and Morty felt like they were spending time with a normal grandpa - minus the fact of being in the cold heart of space.

That’s when the beeping started. Rick instantly got excited.

“Oh, yeah! The stress beacon!”

“You’re excited about that?” Morty asked, concerned.

“The first rule of space travel, kids, is always check out distress beacons; nine out of ten times its a ship full of dead aliens and a bunch of free shit!”

Rick makes a sharp turn towards the received coordinates.

“One out of ten times its a deadly trap, but I'm ready to roll those dice!”

They flew on for a while until they came upon a large ship that had taken heavy damage. Rick landed and they got out and searched around. They couldn’t find a living soul.

“Seems like something terrible happened here,” Summer pointed out. 

Ignoring her, Rick exclaimed. “Yeah. Cha-ching. Oh yeah, if you find a room full of eggs, don't shy away from it, give one of them a shake. Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship.”

He began spray-painting a strangle symbol on the wall.

“Uh, what’s that?” Morty asked. 

“This will make the cops write it up as a looting by the Korblocks.”

Behind them, a door slip open, startling all three of them. Six alien crew members came bursting through, looking distressed.

“Oh, hey. You’re alive! Thank god!” Rick said sarcastically, hiding the spray paint behind his back. 

“Can you help us?” One of the crew asked, frantically. “Our planet was taken over by some kind of... entity! It absorbed the minds of our people!”

“We didn't notice until it was too late. The people it takes over, they look like your friends, your family, your leaders, but they're not, themselves anymore. They're part of... It.” Another said.

Morty could feel his palm start to sweat. Whatever these guys were talking about did not sound fun. 

“And how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you? Those two ding-dongs seem pretty calm about the whole thing.” Rick grumbled. 

Everyone turned to look at the two crew members Rick was referring to. They were staring ahead, looking completely unconcerned. Suddenly, they both let out high-pitched screeches, pointing at the rest of the crew and jumping to attack. 

Morty and Summer screamed, darting back behind Rick for protection. Rick didn’t move, stating that he called it.

They watched as the two affected members vomited in the other’s mouths, making them apart of whatever had taken over their ship.

All six of them turned towards the family group, suddenly smirking and speaking in unison. 

“Hello, Rick. Long time, no see.”

Rick instantly lost his cool, confident demeanor. 

“Unity?!” He stated, shocked. He wasn’t even questioning, he knew it was her. 

“Oh boy. Uh, these are my grandkids, Summer and Morty. Summer, Morty, this is uh, Unity. We sort of used to, uh...date.”

And that’s when Summer and Morty’s jaws hit the floor. 

~~~

I woke up from another horrible night’s sleep with a migraine. The exact same one I fell asleep with. 

_ Dammit all.  _

I rolled over to look at the clock. It was only six-thirty. 

I cursed myself for not sleeping in longer whilst I grabbed my phone. Right before I turned it on, I silently wished I had a message from Rick. 

I didn’t, of course.

Cursing myself again, I decided to get out of bed since I was already up and had no chance of going back to sleep.

I stretched, did some pushups, went to the bathroom, changed into my workout clothes, and went on a run. 

I had been really pushing myself lately to get more into shape. It was serving both my body and mind since it was a perfect distraction from the horribleness I had been through lately. My body was loving the benefits, but my mind was never satisfied. 

The escape was so short-lived and sooner rather than later, I was back to thinking about you know who.

You know, if I was in some crappy fairytale or cheesy romantic dramedy, someone would probably tell me I was in love. But that was not the fucking case.

I was in pain cause I lost my job and two of my best, and only, friends that I had. One kiss between Rick and I did not solidify a title for us. We were not dating nor were either of us in love - that’s just how reality works. 

What hurt more than anything was the fact that my life was now back to where it was before I met Rick: boring and unfulfilling. Except now, there was an added pain of having lost what finally made me happy.

Adventures with Rick and Morty was what made me want to get out of bed in the morning. Hell, even leap out because I was so damn excited to start another day. People search their whole lives for that kind of passion and never find it. And there I was, having lost it and having to return to what I had before which was nothing. 

I was nothing.

Tears wanted to fall down my cheeks, but I had none left to give. I had cried all of the tears reserved for the rest of my life over the last month.

But that’s okay. I was done crying anyway. Now, I was time to be a big girl and move on. I had to let go. 

I had to forget. 

~~~

Shit had kind of hit the fan for Summer and Morty. After they met Unity, it was all downhill from there.

She took them to her planet that she had taken over and claimed them to be her guests. She also managed to make both of them extremely uncomfortable with her flirting with Rick. She sent them away with other versions of herself so she and Rick could ‘catch up’.

For once, Morty was  _ thankful  _ Y/n wasn’t here. She would’ve been more uncomfortable than himself or his sister. 

Once Unity showed them around and set them up with lawn chairs and cheeseburgers, as well as entertainment, Morty was starting to enjoy himself. They watched as hundreds of Unitys worked together to carve their faces into a mountain. 

Summer, however, wasn’t impressed or convinced. 

She expressed her distaste for Unity and how she took over the poor people’s lives. She dragged her poor brother along with her as she screamed at all of the possessed people to wake up and get their lives back. 

The more Morty listened to his sister, the more he began to realize she was right. Life wouldn’t be perfect without Unity, it would just be life. What’s the point in existence if there is only one person living?

And that’s when things  _ really  _ started to get fucked up.

Something started happening to Unity - she began to lose control. Summer got exactly what she wanted and people started waking up out of their trance. Only to pick up where they left off with their horrible and violent race war. And they targeted Summer and Morty for not being apart of any race. 

Luckily, they were saved by the part of Unity she still had under control. 

“Hello, Morty. Hello, Summer. It’s okay, you’re safe now.” The SWAT team member said when they were hoisted up into the resume helicopter.

Summer instantly felt bad. 

“Oh, Unity I am so sorry. I didn't know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks! I was thinking more of... a choose-your-own-cellphone-carrier thing.”

Unity gave Summer a kind smile. 

“Oh, Summer, you did nothing wrong! I'm having fun with your grandpa. Lost a little control. Probably shouldn't be piloting a helicopter, nor should I be... running two hundred thousand pediatric hospitals and twelve million deep fryers, but hey! It's not like this planet can take its business elsewhere.”

The copter swerved a little bit, signaling to both kids how impaired Unity really was. Unity took them to an interestingly shaped building to find the inside totally trashed and dozens of herself laying around drunk or unconscious. 

“Unity, this place is a mess!” Summer complained.

“Oh, it's cool! The part of me that's the cleaning lady is coming on Friday.” The Unity that greeted them to the planet slurred.

Morty stepped out from behind Summer. “Unity, could you bring Rick out here, please?”

Unity perked up nervously, “He’s unavailable...he’s…”

Summer interrupted her, “Having sex with you, we get it. Gross. Get him out here now.”

“I don’t think he wants to…”

Summer and Morty started shouting for Rick, both of them now pissed. 

“Grandpa Rick! I'm gonna tell mom and dad about the gagoo you have locked up under the garage!” Summer threatened.

Rick had just finished another round with Unity when he heard two of the most cock-blocking sounds in the universe - his grandkid’s voices. Dressed in his Mexican hat, fake mustache, and ammo belts, he stumbled out into the main room where the assholes were. 

“What the hell is your problem?” He groaned to them. 

Summer turned towards him, obviously livid. 

“Grandpa, we need to go home.  _ Now. _ ”

Rick rolled my eyes, “Okay, jeez!” 

He grabbed his portal gun off a table, pointing it behind him and opening a portal home. 

“See ya.”

“Uh, Rick, I think we should all go,” Morty stated. 

Simultaneously, Summer crossed her arms and said, “Grandpa Rick, we’re not leaving without you!”

_ God, why did I have to have a child that gave birth to such fucking pieces of shit?  _ He thought to himself.

“Oh my god, you guys I get it. You're afraid the big bad hivemind is gonna steal your grandpa away.” Rick laughed at how stupidly sentimental his grandkids were being. 

“Actually, no. I think Unity's great and you're a horrible influence on it!”

That genuinely threw him.

“What?”

Morty walked over to Rick, pointing at him accusingly. “This isn’t healthy, Rick! Y- you know you-you're really up to no good around here. We both know that you’re just trying to numb yourself over what happened with Y/n!”

_ Who the hell is Y/n? _

Morty must’ve noticed Rick’s confusion because his face lit up in realization. Rick looked around and saw Unity looking at him with the same disarray. When he looked back to Morty, all he saw was his back disappearing through the portal. 

_ Finally.  _

He thought to himself, looking forward to spending more time with Unity. That’s when Morty stepped back through the portal, holding an invention of Rick’s. 

“Summer, hold Rick.”

Before he could react, he felt Summer grab his arms in a vice-like grip. He started to struggle, cursing at them in a language they didn’t even recognize, but both of them were too fast. 

Morty ripped the dumb hat off his head and slammed the helmet down, taking the green bulb out of his back pocket - he knew he would need it again someday - jammed it into the slot and turned the helmet on. 

Instantly, Rick fell limp. 

Within seconds, memory after memory refilled his head - every single one of them about  _ her.  _ Her laugh, her eyes, her voice, her smell, and every single detail came flooding back. 

_ No. Fuck. Goddammit.  _

Rick’s eyes threatened tears as the last of the memories made their way back into his mind. He held them back, but he was left with the gnawing pain and guilt he so desperately wanted to forget before. And now, thanks to his idiot grandkids, it all came crawling back. 

“Fuck!” Rick shoved Morty away from him and ripped himself from Summer’s grip. 

“You little piece of shit! I removed that bullshit from my brain for a fucking reason!” 

He grabbed the helmet off his head and threw it on the ground, shattering it into a million pieces. 

Morty seemed startled at Rick’s outburst, but not afraid.

“Rick, when things get shitty, you can’t just erase them from your memory! Y/n cares about you - about us! And you think you can just forget her because you guys had a fight?! I’ve heard a lot of bullshit from you, Rick, but that by far the worst! Now, why don’t you be a fucking man and just say you’re sorry!”

Any other time, Rick would have been beyond surprised at Morty yelling at him, but he was too fired up to care. Rick wanted to rant and scream at his grandson. But he also remembered that Unity was in the room, listening the entire time.

He grabbed Morty by the shirt and Summer by the arm, throwing them through the portal. The portal closed, leaving Rick and Unity alone together. He couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes - he darted off to the nearest bathroom, tearing off the rest off his ridiculous outfit. 

He frantically darting to the sink, splashing some water on his face. Everything was hot. Everything hurt. All Rick wanted to do was pick up that memory drainer and lose this pain all over again. 

“Fucking fuck!” Rick shouted, running his fingers through his hair and pulling as hard as he could.

Rick stayed in the bathroom for about ten minutes trying to calm down. Once his face returned to its normal temperature, he decided to face Unity. 

Slowly, he walked out of the bathroom and made his way back to the main room. 

“Hey, Une, I can explain-”

Rick cuts himself off when he sees the room is empty. He walks over to the desk and sees several notes. He picked one up and began to read.

_ Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes. I'm not strong enough to do it in persons. I realize now that I'm attracted to you for the same reason I can't be with you. You can't change. And I have no problem with that, but it clearly means I have a problem with myself. I'm sure there's no perfect version of me. I'm sure I'll just unify species after species and never really be complete. But I know how it goes with us. I lose who I am and become part of you. Because in a strange way you're better at what I do without even trying. _

_ And Rick, I know you probably better than anyone else in this universe. Emotion isn’t something that comes to you easily, no matter what it is. Whoever his Y/n is, clearly you care about her a lot. I have never seen you react in such a way as I did today.  _

_ Please, for your own sake, find her and never let her go. _

_ At least one of us deserves to be happy. _

_ Yours, and nobody else’s,  _

_ Unity. _

Rick wandered around the empty streets, reading the note over and over again. His mind was thinking of everything and nothing at the same time. He asked a million questions yet his thoughts had all but stopped. 

Rick eventually portaled home, feeling completely empty and numb. He walked through the front door and found his family all sitting in the front room. Morty and Summer gave Rick glares while Beth looked at him with concern. Rick said nothing to them, just proceeded to the garage and locked himself in.

~~~

When my phone started ringing, I really got confused. No one ever called me - not even my parents. So when I opened my phone and found Morty’s contact on the screen, I instantly got worried. 

Hesitantly, I answered.

“Morty?”

“Hey, Y/n.”

His nervous, prepubescent voice was like music to my ears.

“What’s going on, buddy?”

He was quiet for a minute. The tension built with every second of silence - as well as the hundreds of worse case scenarios that went through my mind. 

“It’s Rick. Something’s... happened.”

That’s when my heart dropped.

At first, I assumed the worst, but Morty assured me that Rick was alive. Just messed up. He told me he’d never seen him so bad the whole time he’d known him.

Call it sentiment or apprehension, but all of the animosity I’d felt towards Rick completely disappeared. And it was replaced with remorse, guilt, and worry. I told Morty I was on my way and took off immediately.

This is where my morning runs were going to come in handy. I booked it all the way to the Smith household without stopping. On a different day, I would pat myself on the back for being so in shape.

When I rounded the neighborhood corner, I could see the house. I could see the garage was open and I knew exactly who I would find inside. It only made me run faster. 

Once I was on the driveway, I stopped dead in my tracks.

Rick was laying on his desk, head down, right below his disintegrator. I could see the busted bulb still in the machine and the laser directly above his head.

“Oh, Rick,” I whispered.

I thought I said it softly, but it was enough to make Rick jolt up from his table and stare at me in surprise. His sudden movement surprised me, making me gasp slightly and place my hand over my mouth.

Rick gaped at me like I was a ghost, not believing I was real. We both waited in shocked silence for the other to say something.

Suddenly, Rick stood, shoving his chair out of the way. He ran around the table with such urgency, you would think they were giving away free booze somewhere. 

But no, he came right over to me, moved my hand away from my mouth, and immediately replaced it with his own.

For once in my entire life, there were no thoughts in my head.

I wasn’t thinking - I was just feeling.

And what I was feeling was how fucking great of a kisser Rick Sanchez was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmmmm. I wonder where the next chapter is gonna go (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	8. Fuck it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and very sweet.   
I actually read through this one. Are you proud of me???

To say Rick caught me off guard was a complete understatement.

I thought he was going to portal me away to some unknown, alien planet or throw an empty bottle at me or at  _ least _ yell at me to fuck off. But no, instead he just wanted to fuck me.

My arms naturally found their way around his shoulders and my fingers laced into his crazy hair. It was softer than I expected it to be. Rick’s tongue danced along with mine, dominating every inch of my mouth. I didn’t put up much of a fight, knowing he would gain control in the end.

After several minutes of a heated make-out session, Rick pulled away - just a few centimeters. His lips brushed mine. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. I wanted to pull away before I lost myself but I couldn’t seem to. I wanted to push him away and yell at him. To cling to the reasons why I was mad at him. I racked my brain for an excuse to scream at him for everything he had put me through. 

“Y/n…”

As my name fell from his lips, I knew I was done for. 

_ Fuck it. _

I didn’t care anymore. 

Reaching up to him, I connected our lips once again - he returned without any hesitance. 

He kissed me with an urgency I thought only existed in cheesy romance movies. Kissing with such desperation was almost non-existent and never expected -  _ especially  _ if the person you are kissing is Rick Sanchez.

And yet, here I was, being pushed against the wall of the garage by the very same man who swore he didn’t see me in any sexual light. 

_ Hehe. I cannot wait to rub this in his face. _

But I couldn’t be too concerned with being right - not when I had someone sucking on my face.

He kissed down my face until he found my neck - I felt his hot breath on my tender skin before he sank his teeth in. 

And with that, I was putty in his hands. 

I let out a breathy moan persuasive enough to almost make him halt in his efforts. He sucked and nipped at my neck like I was a delicate treat and he wanted to taste all of me. 

“Fuck,” he whispered against my throat. 

Still kissing my neck, he took his portal out of his back pocket, shooting a portal on the ground behind us. 

I was about to ask him what it was for, but he answered it by pulling me forward, locking our lips once again. We fell through the portal and landed on something soft. I opened my eyes for a moment and noticed we were now in my apartment. 

_ Smart. Don’t want the Smiths walking in on us.  _

With newfound privacy, Rick became more bold. He rolled me over onto my back, his right hand supporting my neck and threaded in my hair. The other was grasping desperately at my breast as if it could save his life. His hand slowly traced down my clothed body, getting closer and closer to the danger zone.

I felt my back arch in anticipation, knowing where his fingers will soon reach. He unbuttons my pants and slid his long digits inside my underwear. My head rocked back against the pillow as he did, the second moan escaping my lips.

That seemed to set him off. 

In a blind fury of passion and lust, we both ripped each other’s clothing off, discarding them all over the floor. Once we were both bare, Rick stopped. He stared down at me while we both panted like dogs. 

He gave me a look I couldn’t quite clock.

It wasn’t the first time for either of us, but we're both so nervous you'd never know it. There's something about him that lights me up from the inside and there's something about me that melts his confidence to nothing at all. Touching him is like being handed the holy grail, like my heart is mended even though I never knew it was broken.

This time, I was the one to reconnect our lips. While the need and heat remained, something different took over the animalistic desire. Like I could feel all of the pain I’d left behind for him and he could feel mine as well.

It wasn’t a time for foreplay or anything kinky. 

He needed to feel me as much I needed to feel him. 

His name fell silently from my lips and he entered me. His response was somewhere between and growl and a whimper. It had been so long before I’d felt anything up there - let alone something that filled me so perfectly. 

Every thrust, every touch, every kiss was intoxicating. I imagined Klax had nothing on this feeling.

Once we grew used to the feeling of one another, the desire seemed to return. Rick quickened his speed and tightened his grip. He took both my arms and pinned them above my head, forcing me to do nothing but feel. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to release - a first for me since anything else I’d experienced had been mediocre. 

Rick urged me to let go. Ordered me. 

And that was enough to do me in. 

Waves of pleasure crashed down on me with each continuous thrust, tightening myself around him and bringing him even closer to his own release. Once I composed myself from the earth-shattering orgasm, I threw my arms around Rick once again, kissing the daylights out of him. 

As his thrusts got sloppier and sloppier, I whispered to him a simple command.

“Let go.”

And that he did. 

Rick let out a sound I didn’t even know was humanly possible, shaking as the pleasure filled his body. He collapsed on top of me as he started to come down from his own high. We both panted even heavier than before, almost trying to out-dog each other.

As soon as our breathing calmed down and our heartrates returned to normal, Rick lifted off of me, plopping back down to the side of me and wrapping his arms around me. 

He brought me into his chest, hugging me close - something very out of character for him. I did  _ not  _ take Rick for an after-sex cuddler.

But then again, I knew he wasn’t. And neither was I. 

I think we both just needed time to catch up and we didn’t need to talk to do so. For once in Rick Sanchez’s life, he just needed to  _ feel. _ And I wasn’t going to judge or tease him about it because as much as he tried to deny it, Rick was human. He was a human man and even they need to be hugged sometimes. 

I knew this wouldn’t last - in fact, I knew this would be the only time in my entire life I would experience  _ anything  _ like this with Rick. So I cherished the moment. 

I cherished the idea of Rick needing me. Wanting me.

As the darkness of sleep closed around me, I couldn’t help but feel happy. I fell asleep with a smile on my face and Rick Sanchez’s arms around me.

And for the first time in weeks, I felt complete. 

~~~

I woke up alone. I figured as much it would happen. All of Rick’s clothes were gone off the floor and there was a note waiting for me on my nightstand. 

** _You have work today. Don’t be late or I’ll cut your pay. _ **

Aaaaaand he was back. Rick C-137. My Rick.

I finally had a reason to jump out of bed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I'm kind of trash at writing smut. But hopefully, this quenched your thirst and warmed your hearts.   
I love soft Rick.
> 
> But ya better savor him cause he's gonna be back to normal in the next chapter.


	9. TINY RICK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more so just for fun :D Gotta love Tiny Rick. Even if he is a turd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old habits die hard. Didn't proofread.
> 
> Also, are you guys shocked at how much I'm uploading? Yeah, me too XD.

Several months had gone by since Rick and I made up and things were going really great. It almost felt like nothing ever happened. Getting back into the flow of inventing and going on adventures with Rick was so natural.

Everything was back to normal, save for the fact Rick would occasionally grab my ass or call me ‘baby’. It was affection in Rick’s own way. I did not expect candlelight dinners or flowers on the weekends - hell I didn’t even see us as a couple. Friends with benefits was probably a closer title, but even that felt weird. We were just close friends who traveled through time and space, drank together, and occasionally hooked up. 

It felt good to be back in the swing of things. The time away from Rick was probably the most depressing of my life, and not just because of him. Also because of the thrill of our lives together being taken away. The blood pumping excitement and adrenaline that came from adventures could probably only be matched by the effects of a drug. 

And every single day brought something new. Like today, when Rick told me he was going to transfer his consciousness into a younger clone of himself. 

And before I could ask any questions, Rick was butt-ass naked, standing in an empty vat with wires connected to his head and chest. Rick made several clones, all varying in age, but the one hooked up to the other set of wires was the teenage clone. Also, not that I hadn’t seen Rick naked before, but without the distracting sexual drive, it just felt uncomfortable. 

“Rick, remind me why we are doing this again?” I asked whilst readying everything on the control panel. 

He gave me a look. “Because there is a vampire in Morty and Summer’s school and I have to blend in if we are going to stop it.”

His voice was muffled through the glass, but I could still understand him. 

“Didn’t you tell me this was Summer’s idea and you hated it?”

He rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, _ Y/n _, I did. But I got bored and cloning myself seemed like a good challenge.”

My eyes fell to the controls. 

“Whatever you say, old man,” I mumbled. “Also, where are your daughter and her idiot?”

“Oh,” Rick replied. “I sent her and the unemployed mess to an off-planet marriage counselor.”

“I thought you hated Jerry.”

Rick eyed me. “I do, but my daughter wants to keep finding reasons to love him, so if those guys can help her realize she’s better without him or fix their shitty marriage, I’m willing to help her find her way.”

_ Huh. I guess Rick really does care about Beth. In his own kind of way. _

“Are you ready?”

Rick shrugged obnoxiously as if to say ‘I’ve been ready for hours’. 

I flipped a switch and the vat began to fill with the chemical mixture Rick made to preserve his actual body. I knew as soon as the vat was full, I needed to pull the lever that would transfer all of Rick’s brainpower into the younger body. 

As Rick took a deep breath before he was completely submerged in fluid, something in my gut started speaking to me. It was small and distant, but still something that caught my attention. I couldn’t help but become nervous at the feeling because it was all too familiar. My gut only talked when I knew something was up. 

However, I decided to push it away for now and focus on the task at hand. 

_ Future Y/n can deal with it. _

The tank was now full and it was time to pull the lever, Kronk. But there would be no wrong lever this time. 

The second the lever was pulled, Rick fell limp in the vat. His face was completely relaxed and he was left to float in the preservation. And the new body sitting next to me started to twitch. His chest started to rise and fall as well as his limbs jerking.

Rick’s gravely voice erupted from the clone in the form of a groan and his head lifted up. He almost looked like Frankenstein’s monster with how dramatic he was being. 

“How do you feel, shorty?” I stood from my chair, staring down at the new Rick who was now _ considerably _ shorter than me. I would even say shorter than Morty.

Rick blinked a few times, focusing his younger vision on me. His pupils dilated with the fluorescent light and a smirk spread across his face.

“Like boning you right here, right now.”

_ Okay. Ew. _

“I’m gonna have to pass,” I leaned down and grabbed him by the arm to help him to his feet. “You’re jailbait now. Can’t risk being sent to prison when there is a vampire on the loose.”

He staggered a little bit when he stood, but quickly got the hang of it and was able to keep himself up. I handed him a pile of his normal clothing, now in his new size, and told him to get dressed. 

We had a bloodsucker to jab a wooden stake in to.

~~~

We met up with Summer and Morty at their high school. Both of them seemed scared and impressed at Rick’s transformation, but they were more than happy to have his help. 

Rick had dubbed himself ‘Tiny Rick’ and felt the need to scream it every ten seconds. Even when we had tracked down the vampire and found it to be the gym teacher and set up the trap, Rick felt the need to scream it before he stabbed the creature through the heart multiple times.

He had me drive the spaceship since he was technically a minor and all they did was scream songs on the radio the whole way home. Normally, I would have joined in, but something was eating away at me. The feeling from earlier in the day had returned and was now in full bloom. 

Rick wasn’t...himself.

Obviously, he was in a much younger body, but it was also the way he was acting. He wasn’t the negative, old, asshole I had come to know. Now he was peppy and acting like he was the coolest kid in school - which apparently he was after talking to Toby Matthews.

Maybe it was just the mindset of being young again and he decided to feel reminiscent, but there was something else I couldn’t put my finger on. But I guess it didn’t really matter since we were driving home to put Rick back in his old body anyway. Once again, I pushed the feeling away and told it to shut up. 

We arrived at the Smith’s house at just the right time before I told all three of them to shut the hell up with the screaming. I plopped the duffle bag full of bloody stakes on the floor and immediately started hooking Rick up to the machine while they were talking.

As I was about to pull the lever, Summer startled all of us with a loud gasp, halting me in my action. 

“Oh, my god. Toby Matthews is asking if my parents are still out of town and if we can have a party!” She squealed.

Tiny Rick smiled. “All right, way to go, Summer! What did I tell you?”

Summer’s phone buzzed again and her face fell.

“Oh. He’s asking if Tiny Rick will be there.”

Rick thought for a minute before smirking and standing up, ripping the chords out of his head.

“Well, you know what, Summer? Tell him Tiny Rick will be here! And tell him to bring some brews!”

_ Oh no. _

The feeling returned.

Morty’s face lit up. “For real? Y-y-y-you would stay as Tiny Rick, just so we can have a party?”

“Hell, yeah! What’s one more night? And who can have fun with this old bastard hanging around, huh?”

All three of them broke out in laughter. Rick screamed another rickdiculous catchphrase and they all cheered in excitement.

I, on the other hand, was extremely nervous. Not only did I have a nagging feeling that something was wrong with Rick, but I also had terrible deja vu from the last time the Smith children threw a party.

Summer and Morty hurried out of the garage to get everything ready, leaving Rick and I alone.

“Rick, I don’t think this is a good idea.” I gulped. 

Rick turned towards me, his chest puffed out.

“That’s Tiny Rick to you, baby, and why wouldn’t this be a good idea? It’s a party! It’s going to be fun!”

I crossed my arms over my chest. 

“Yeah, well, the last time you threw a party, it ended horribly. Not to mention, you aren’t acting like..._ you _.”

Rick’s chest fell. 

“You’re right, Y/n. I haven’t been myself today...”

A spark of hope lit inside me.

“I’VE BEEN A THOUSAND TIMES COOLER, MOTHERFUCKA!!!”

And the spark was extinguished. I gave Tiny Rick a giant glare.

“Look, baby, you’re worrying too much,” he walked over to me and put his tiny arm around my waist. “Let’s just have fun at the party tonight and afterward, you can put me back inside the walking bag of bones. Does that satisfy your needs, your highness?”

I didn’t appreciate the sarcasm nor the dramatic bow he did after his statement, but it was good enough for me. I guess I would just have to wait until the end of the night to get my Rick back.

Then I was going to kick him in the balls for being a tiny asshole. 

~~~

Several hours later, I was once again surrounded by teenagers who were all way too young to be drinking as much as they were. Summer was talking to Toby Matthews and Morty was chatting with Jessica.

I couldn’t help but feel a little happy for Morty. He had such a huge crush on the girl, I’m glad he could finally have a conversation with her.

My attention was redirected when I heard someone say, “Hey, Tiny Rick’s playing guitar.”

I turned and saw Rick sitting on a stool with a guitar that looked too big for his tiny body. He was starting to draw a crowd.

“All right, everybody. This next one’s coming straight from the heart. Making the lyrics up right off the top of my head. 

♪ Let me out ♪ 

♪ What you see is not the same person as me ♪ 

♪ My life’s a lie ♪ 

♪ I’m not who you’re looking at ♪ 

♪ Let me out, set me free ♪ 

♪ I’m really old; this isn’t me ♪ 

♪ My real body’s slowly dyin’ in a vat ♪ 

♪ Is anybody listening’ ♪ 

♪ Can anyone understand? ♪ 

♪ Stop lookin’ at me like that and actually help me ♪ 

♪ Help me, Y/n! ♪ 

♪ Help me; I’m gonna die! ♪ 

Tiny Rick! Thanks, everybody!”

_ What the fuck? _

Welcome back to ‘Aching Gut Feeling’, the sequel. Staring, me.

I looked around the room and locked eyes with Summer. We had the same look on our faces - we both knew something wasn’t right.

_ Fucking hell. Can I never just have a normal day with the Smith family? _

Rick didn’t go back into his body that night, or any other night that week, despite my nagging. He also sent me away every day I came in for work, claiming he had to go to school. He had been going to all of Morty’s classes with him, charming all of his peers and teachers.

After school, he didn’t even set foot in the garage. He just hung out with Morty and a bunch of other kids from the high school. Ordinarily, I would have been ecstatic that Rick wanted to spend so much time with Morty, but this wasn’t right. It wasn’t RICK.

Goddammit. I was going to shove his head so far up his own ass he’d be able to taste his stomach.

It was Thursday night and the kids were at the school dance with Tiny Rick. Summer and I had devised a plan to get Rick expelled from the school. Now, I was sitting at Rick’s workbench fiddling with random pieces of metal, waiting for Rick to come home.

Around nine o’clock, I heard the front door open. I heard tiny footsteps coming towards me and I knew it was go-time.

I climbed ontop on the washing machine to hide behind the door once it opened. It slowly creaked open, revealing the spiky-haired teenager. He was staring at the vat containing his old body with a vengeance. 

He tore his lab coat off, looking down at the ground and picking up an ax.

_ Okay. Time to go. _

“Say goodnight, old man,” Rick whispered, raising the ax over his head.

That’s when I jumped out from behind the door, screaming.

I grabbed mid-swing, making him lose his balance and flail about in shock. With one arm, I held down his arms and with the other, I tried to grab the ax from him.

“What the hell are you doing?!” I yelled. “Put it down!”

I managed to knock the weapon from his grasp just as Morty and Summer burst through the door.

“Summer! Kick the ax away from him!” I barked, still trying to hold the shrimp who had taken over my friend and was super weak compared to regular Rick.

Summer did what I was told, both of the kids now blocking the way to the vat.

“Y/n, you bitch!” Rick hissed.

Morty pointed accusingly at Rick, “Don’t talk to her that way! She’s your friend!”

Rick got his bearings and finally pushed me off of him.

“I don’t need her as my friend. I’m Tiny Rick!”

Morty stood in front of me, looking pissed. “Well, she’s _ my _friend! And if Tiny Rick is gonna be an asshole to my friend, then, you know, y-y-you may as well be old again.”

_ Aw. Sweet kid. _

I placed a hand on Morty’s shoulder, giving him a quick nod before stepping in front of him. 

“He’s right, asshole,” I huffed. “Time to get back to normal.”

Rick glared up at me, an unamused smirk on his face.

“Ooh, you think you’re tough, huh, Y/n? What are you gonna do? I’m Tiny Rick!”

“I’m gonna do what real Rick would do if he was here - I’m gonna kick your ass! And if you say Tiny Rick one more time, I’m gonna break your fucking nose!”

And that’s when I dove for him. I tackled him to the ground, straddling his sides and landing a few punches. Rick grunted in pain, shoving me off of him and attacking me with a few blows of his own. After a few minutes of the roughhousing, I managed to pin him down on his stomach, my arm holding his head down.

Summer ran over and put earphones in Rick’s ears, playing some sad music by Elliot Smith. He fought against it, but eventually, he started to feel the lyrics, breaking down crying. 

“Oh, god, what is life? How can someone so talented die so young? What is being young? I’m not young. I’m old. I’m - I’m gonna die. My body isn’t real. Morty! Summer! Y/n! It’s me! It’s Rick! Regular Rick!”

_ Finally. _

“Rick!” Morty shouted. “What do we do to get you back in your old body?”

Rick curled into a sobbing ball on the floor. “Y/n knows what to do. Just let her handle it. God, what kind of world is this? I didn’t ask to be born.”

I got off of him, immediately going over to the controls and grabbing the diodes. Summer and Morty set Tiny Rick on a chair, tears still streaming down his face. As I attached the cables to his head, he looked up at me with his tear-filled eyes. There was remorse and guilt written all over his face. 

It was his silent apology.

Nodding, I told him it was okay. He could make it up later. 

I flipped the switch and Tiny Rick’s body spasmed, his eyes rolled back into his head, and he dropped limp. The vat next to us beeped then opened, throwing Rick to the ground and flooding the garage with hyperbaric quantum fluid.

Rick’s old body gasped to life, coughing and groaning. I ran over to help him up while his grandkids both cheered in victory and screamed at the fact Rick was completely naked.

“Holy shit! Thanks, kids. You figured it out. Well, Y/n and Summer did. Kind of weird that you were that willing to sell my existence out for some trim, _ Morty _.”

“What?”

“Pants!”

“Rick, not important!”

We all yelled. I told Morty and Summer to go back in the house - they had seen enough trama for one day. Rick held up his hands in defense.

“But listen - I forgive you because you know what? I learned, today, something important: the teenage mind is its own worst enemy. Oh, I also learned this…” 

Rick pressed a button and the floor started to shake before lowering down into Rick’s secret lair. 

“Operation Phoenix is not the fallback I thought it would be. I guess it’s back to the drawing board.”

Rick picked up the ax from before and started going to town on the remaining clones he made. It was a horrifying scene of shattering glass, blood, and Rick laughing like a maniac. 

Normally, I would’ve been horrified at the scene, but after everything I have been through with Rick over the last year, this didn’t even make the top ten. Once he was done, I gave him an unamused looked. 

“Was that really necessary?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Everything I do is necessary, Y/n. Now come on, we’ve got to pick up Beth and Jerry and the marriage counselor.”

“What? Why do I have to go?”

“Because I said so, now get in the ship.”

Huffing, I did as I was told. NOT because I was ordered to, but because I wanted to, alright? Plus, Rick had some serious ass-kissing to do and I guess it was better to start sooner than later.

I climbed into the passenger seat, rolling my eyes as I put on my seatbelt. When I turned to look at him, I was blinded by the color red. Rick grabbed the back of my neck and slammed his lips onto mine with considerable force. I was surprised our teeth didn’t collide, leaving us both drenched in blood. 

He growled into my mouth, reaching over and grabbing one of my breasts. 

“Fuck, baby,” his voice was low. “You looked so fucking hot on top of me earlier. If I had been myself and my grandkids weren’t right there, I would’ve fucked you right then and there.”

I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Glad to know domestic violence turns you on, old man.”

Rick scoffed, backing away from me to turn the ship on. 

“Laugh all you want, but the second we get back, I want you naked, on all fours, blindfolded, and gaged. You are going to be up late tonight, missy.”

_ Finally. An idea of Rick’s that's actually good. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff and angst happening in the next few chapters. 
> 
> Bring tissues.


	10. Weddings Always Make You Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birdperson is getting married and Rick is not happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To all of my lovely readers, I couldn't do this without you. Your comments give me so much motivation and even if I don't respond to all of you, I PROMISE I read all of them.  
Thank you, thank you, thank you x1000000000
> 
> Much love <3<3<3
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes.

** _Get over here asap. Dress nice._ **

That’s all the text said. I didn’t know what was up, but I had learned to question nothing until I received all the information. What threw me the most was the uniform requirement. I didn’t really own a lot of ‘nice’ clothing, but I did have one thing. 

It was a dress I bought in case of emergencies, but I guess there was no time like the present.

It was a beautiful black, lacy A-line dress with a cold-shoulder neckline and sleeves that stopped just after the elbow. The skirt was long enough to be classy but short enough to show off some leg. Overall, gorgeous, but not too flashy.

When I looked in the mirror, for the first time in a while, I felt pretty. I decided to add to the look with some makeup and a messy updo to complete the look. And for once in my life, I looked like my parent’s child. I looked like all of those Y/n’s I met - aside from the giant breasts.

I had a giant smile on my face as I texted Rick that I was ready. A moment later, a portal opened up in my room and I stepped through into the garage. This was a new system Rick came up with since he got so impatient waiting for me to drive over to his house.

It was ridiculous, but hey, I was glad to save on gas money. 

Rick’s back was turned to me, hunched over his desk as he tinkered with something. He was wearing his usual attire. 

“I thought you said to dress nice.”

“I did,” he belched loudly. “But the day I wear a suit is the day I kill mys-”

He stopped mid-sentence when he turned around and saw me. His expression didn’t change, but his eyes widened ever so slightly. He looked me up and down slowly, smirking as he did. 

“Damn, baby. As good as that looks on you, I’m sure it would look a million times better on my floor.”

Smiling, I rolled my eyes. 

“I  _ know  _ you didn’t bring me over here for that. What is actually going on?”

His face fell and he let out an annoyed sigh.

“Birdperson is getting married.” He deadpanned.

Well. I was not expecting that.

“Really?! To whom?”

Rick took out his flask. “To Summer’s friend Tammy. They met at the party.”

“Aaaaaand you aren’t happy about this…?” I assumed, based on Rick’s body language.

“Of course I’m fucking not. Why the hell would I be?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because he is your best friend and he’s in love and would probably really appreciate your support on his big day.”

“Birdperson’s big day, Y/n, was at blood ridge on Glapflap’s third moon against the Gromflamites. Marriage? Marriage is a losing battle.”

I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t in the mood to have this discussion with Rick again. 

“Whatever, Rick. Let’s just get through the ceremony so we can support our friend and then we can come home. It’s just one evening - you’ll survive.”

When Rick scoffed, I knew it was going to be a long day. But I was excited to see Birdperson and I looked amazing so I was ready to go. What I didn’t expect was the entire Smith family joining us.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved Morty and Summer, but Beth and Jerry was a different story. Jerry was the idiot who got himself taken by the courier flap (which was why we were even going to the wedding in the first place) and Beth was the daughter of the man I was sleeping with who was older than me. 

_ I’ll take awkward car rides for five-hundred, Alex. _

Then again, it was only awkward for me. The rest of the family seemed overjoyed to be visiting an alien planet for an alien wedding. It was a long flight, but when we arrived on planet Squanch, it was decked out beautifully. 

Squanchy greeted us, then the bride and groom. Summer squealed with Tammy while Rick and I greeted Birdperson.

“Rick, Y/n, I am pleased you and your family could witness my melding with Tammy.”

“Our pleasure,” I smiled.

“Yeah,” Rick grumbled. “I just hope you got a pre-meld.”

“Rick!” I hissed, hitting him on the arm.

“What?! It’s just a practical way of making sure that when she’s done with you, you can get one of your balls back.”

I sighed, turning to face Birdperson.

“Sorry, Birdperson, he’s just grumpy from the flight.”

“Ohh, I-I was happy on the flight. I’m grumpy from the landing.”

I took a deep breath, trying to suppress my rage. I excused both of us, grabbing Rick by the ear and dragged him out of earshot so no one could hear what an ass he was being.

Rick cursed me until I let him go.

“Rick, what is your problem? It’s not like he’s dying. He’s getting married! I mean, what do you think is gonna happen if you open yourself up a little bit? Look around. This is your family and friends all around you - take the day off. There’s nothing to run from, nothing to fight. Try to enjoy yourself for once, please.”

I turned and left him without another word.

I wanted to enjoy this experience and I didn’t want to have to worry about Rick’s grumpy ass. I was gonna drink, socialize, and have fun.

I made my way around the large group of people, getting stopped every now and again to be greeted. Rick wasn’t the friendliest person, but he did have a lot of friends off-planet. And I had come to meet almost all of them.

The ceremony started not long after we arrived. It was quite lovely - the sun was setting behind the altar, giving a beautiful background as Squanchy officiated. As they were about to exchange their vows, Rick plopped down next to me, obviously drunk. 

I leaned over to him, whispering, “Are you okay?”

He didn’t look at me. His only response was a slurred ‘aww’ as he watched the bride and groom kiss for the first time and husband and wife. 

That made me raise an eyebrow. Was he finally coming around to it? Or was he just three sheets to the wind already?

We were moved inside what looked like an event hall where the reception began. There was music, dancing, and most importantly: alcohol. Three glasses of the alien equivalent of champagne down and I was beginning to feel the buzz. Not drunk, but feeling pretty warm.

Morty even nervously asked me to dance when a slow song started playing. Even though I towered over the kid, I had a lot of fun. We mostly just giggled as we watched other alien couples interact with each other.

After the song was over, another slow song started to play, surprising both of us. We were just going to leave the dance floor, but Morty found himself being tugged away by his suit jacket and thrown to the side. 

“Out of the way kid,” a drunken Rick grumbled. “Make room for the real adults.”

Once Morty regained his balance, he rolled his eyes and went back to our table, muttering curses under his breath. 

I eyed Rick. 

“Was that necessary?” I huffed.

“What did I tell you, babe? Everything I do is necessary.”

Rolling my eyes, I placed my arms around Rick’s neck as he snaked his around my waist. 

“You could stand to be a little kinder to your fourteen-year-old grandson.”

“And why is that?”

I used one of my hands to hit Rick on the back of the head. 

“Because you love him and he needs some sort of positive male role in his life. We all know Jerry is not doing his job there.”

Rick was silent for a moment, his eyes wandering around the room trying to avoid my gaze.

“You’re right.”

It was barely a whisper that escaped him.

My eyebrows flew into my hairline. 

“Excuse me?”

He glared at me. “You heard me, I’m not saying it again. Birdperson is my best friend - I should stop being such a dick.”

I was genuinely baffled. Either it was the alien booze or planet Squanch’s air, but this was really big of Rick to admit his faults. 

“Well, well, well, I never thought I’d see the day. You must be spending too much time with me cause I am rubbing off on you.”

Rick grunted at my comment. 

“Yeah, I think you’re going to have to take a monthlong sabbatical after this.”

“Oh, please. Like you could live without me for that long.”

He snorted, shaking his head. 

The sway of the soft music took us both over, leaving us quiet. I leaned into him, my temple against his cheek, falling into the beautiful sway of the melody. I felt Rick let out a big sigh as the song came to an end. I couldn’t help myself but to give him a little kiss on the cheek and a wink before both of us returned to our table. 

I sat in between Rick and Morty, casually talking to both of them. When Rick grew quiet, I knew something was up. Not long after my initial suspicion, Rick picked up his knife and tapped on his champagne glass, getting everyone’s attention. 

_ Oh boy.  _

“Uh, hi, everybody. I’m Rick,” he belched as he introduced himself, pulling a piece of paper out of his lab coat. 

“You know, when I first met Birdperson, he was, uhh…” Rick crumpled the paper up and threw it over his shoulder. “Listen, I’m not the nicest guy in the universe because I’m the smartest. And being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets. Now, I haven’t been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage. I couldn’t make it work, and I can turn a black hole into a sun, so at a certain point, you got to ask yourself what are the odds this is legit and not just some big lie we’re all telling ourselves because we’re afraid to die alone? Because, you know, that’s exactly how we all die - alone.”

The Smith family, and myself, all mentally facepalmed at how horrible Rick’s speech was. We all groaned at gripped our own comments towards him.

“But... but... here’s the thing. Birdperson is my best friend, and if he loves Tammy, well, then I love tammy, too.”

_ Oh wow. Holy shit. _

The crowd’s reaction matched mine. We all cheered and clapped for Rick.

He raised his glass. “To friendship, to love, and to my greatest adventure yet... opening myself up to others!”

“Cheers to that, motherfucka!” Morty shouted next to me, making me laugh. 

Everyone clinked their glasses together, laughing and applauding Rick’s surprisingly positive toast. 

In the nest above the dance floor where the bride and groom sat, Tammy stood, holding her drink.

“Thank you, Rick, that was beautiful. Gosh, I look around this room, and I think, ‘uh, Tammy, you’re a high-school senior from the planet earth, and you’re marrying a 40-year-old Birdperson? Like, what?’”

Everyone laughed.

“But then I think, you know, in a lot of ways, I’m not a high-school senior from the planet earth. In a lot of ways, what I really am is a deep-cover agent for the galactic federation, and you guys are a group of wanted criminals, and this entire building is, in a certain sense, surrounded.”

_ What?! _

The feeling. The feeling came crashing into my chest like a fucking train. It only got worse when I heard Rick curse. 

“Everyone here is under arrest for crimes against the federation!” Tammy yelled, pulling a gun from nowhere.

“Tammy, what are you doing?” Birdperson asked, standing. 

She pointed the gun right at him. 

“Sit. your. bird. ass. down.” She growled, cocking the gun.

“Tammy?”

Birdperson’s face fell completely. In all of the time I had known him, he always spoke in a monotone voice. But that one question of her name was not only full of emotion but filled with the instant realization of betrayal and left with millions of questions.

That’s when Tammy opened fire on him. 

Gasps flooded the crowd, the loudest coming from me. I clamped a hand down over my mouth, looking to Rick to see his reaction. His hands flew into his hair, grasping at the roots and pulling hard.

“BIRDPERSON! NO!!!” He screamed. 

_ Fuck. Oh, Fuck. This is not happening. _

The next thing I knew, Galactic Federation agents crashed through the ceiling, opening fire on everyone. Some of the guests stood and began firing back while the rest of us dove for cover. 

I kicked our table over, creating a safe spot for the Smiths. I looked around for a weapon, finding a gun next to the body of a fallen guest. I grabbed it, cocking it immediately and firing on the intruders. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rick dive behind the table with the rest of them, pulling out his portal gun and beginning to punch in our escape route. 

But Tammy got to him before he could finish.

“Drop the portal gun.” She aimed the gun right between his eyes. 

Slowly, Rick set it down. Tammy instructed him to slide it into the center of the room. He did as he was told, but not before opening a small hatch on the handle of the gun and pressing a button. I knew exactly what that button did. 

I threw the gun to the side, diving for Morty. I took his hands and covered his ears with them, then covered my own just in time for the explosion. I giant portal erupted in the gun’s wake, tearing a group of agents away into a black void while leaving the rest of the group disoriented from the sonic blast of sound.

Rick and I both took this and an opportunity to jump out from behind the table, jumping like acrobats to avoid getting shot and grabbing whatever weapons we could find.

Rick screamed like a savage as he opened fire on the bug agents. I managed to find another gun, shooting alongside him. In the distance, I could see Tammy fighting her way towards us. She grabbed a weapon off a fallen soldier, aimed fright for us, and started shooting. 

She must’ve been good at her job because not only did that bitch shoot the weapon right out of my hand, she grazed my arm in the process, ruining my beautiful dress.

I gasped in pain, covering the wound with my hand. It hurt like a motherfucker, but I was grateful it wasn’t worse.

I looked up to Rick who was looking down at me, his face riddled with concern. When he turned back around, I could see him eying Tammy with a hate so strong, it shook me to my core. Pushing my pain aside, I grabbed the closest item I could use as a blunt instrument and planned on charging at her, but something small and fuzzy stopped me in the middle of my step. 

“There’s no time to squanch!” Squanchy shouted, sternly. “Get your family out of here! I got this.” 

Rick grabbed my arm, pulling me into a sprint and when I looked back, I saw Squanchy standing fifty times hight than usual, roaring and destroying agents left and right.

We ran back towards the table where the family was hiding. 

“Come on, this way!” Rick instructed, still pulling me. 

We made it outside, shooting down a few more bugmen as went, and climbing into the closest ship we could find. Which looked like some sort of delivery van filled with worms. We had to fight off Tammy’s robot parents, but we managed to escape the planet, now feeling the true severity of the situation.

We all started freaking the fuck out. 

“What the hell happened back there?!” Jerry shouted.

“This is on you guys,” Rick stated, now sounding surprisingly calm. “I told you weddings are stupid.”

I sat in the passenger seat next to Rick, trying my best to treat my now throbbing and bleeding arm. I ripped the bottom of my dress, wrapping it tightly around the wound. 

_ This feels horribly Deja vuish. _

Rick stared straight ahead, his hands gripped on the steering wheel with a vice-like, white-knuckled grip.

“Uh, Rick,” Jerry piped up again. “ Is there anything you’d like to tell us about your relationship with this previously unknown galactic government?”

Rick responded without missing a beat.

“All the important points seem pretty clear, no? They think they control the galaxy, I disagree. Don’t hate the player, hate the game, son.”

“How could you be so dishonest with this family?!” Jerry harped up again.

“Oh! Oh, should I have been more open and trusting and loving like, oh, I don’t know, my  _ now-dead  _ best friend? Or your daughter, who is BFFs with an intergalactic narc?”

“Hey! Tammy was cool!” Summer defended. 

“Fuck you, Summer. And fuck the government. And fuck me for letting my guard down, which I will  _ never  _ do again.” 

“Geez, Rick!” Morty piped up with a confused and concerned voice. “You can’t say ‘f you’ to your granddaughter.”

Rick turned to look at his grandson.

“I just did, Morty. Here’s dessert: fuck you.”

“ _ Rick _ ,” I hissed. “That’s enough.”

“Oh, she has a voice!” Rick turned to me. “And how am I supposed to know that you aren’t some fucking Galactic Federation piece of shit as well?! Is that what you’ve been doing all this time? Waiting for the exact moment my guard was down so you can slit my throat or turn me in to your fucking jackass government officials? I mean, it’s just too perfect, how could they  _ not  _ get a hold of the only Y/n in existence with a brain and use her to take down the most wanted man in the galaxy?!”

I was in complete and utter shock. Not only was Rick basically admitting that he did not trust me now, but he was also accusing me of being a farse this entire time. 

“How fucking  _ dare  _ you, Rick. After all we’ve been through together, you’re just gonna turn on me like that?! If I was a fucking undercover agent, don’t you think I would’ve revealed myself right then and there when Tammy did?! That would’ve been the best fucking opportunity, no?!”

“Alright!” Beth interjected. “Look, I think we’ve all had a tough wedding. Actually, the wedding was beautiful. The reception got out of hand. anyway, I say we go home, sleep it off, and have a family meeting in the morning.”

Rick and I held icy cold eye contact as Beth babbled on. Thousands of emotions were blooding through both of our eyes it would’ve been impossible to specify each one. Rick was the first to look away. 

“Yeah, about going home, we can’t. Ever,” He deadpanned. 

“What?!” We all shouted. 

“Oh, these guys are looking for us now. Earth will be swarming with them.”

“Us?! I want to go home!” Jerry whined. 

“Look, anyone that wants to go back to Earth is free to go back to Earth. But here’s what’s gonna happen: aliens bureaucrats are gonna arrest you. They’re gonna put the intergalactic equivalent of jumper cables under your nuts and or labia and hook them up to an alien car battery until you tell them where I am - which I guarantee you, you’re not gonna know, which I guarantee they won’t believe. So who’s homesick? By applause. Ladies? Anybody?  _ Y/n _ ?”

My name came off his tongue with such venom. Like he was disgusted to say it. To look at me. In the back fo the van, Summer started to sob - something I so desperately wanted to do but refused myself to do.

“What are we going to do?! Where are we going to live?!” She cried, hysterically.

“Take it easy. This is a blessing in disguise. Fuck Earth. You realize our planet’s name means dirt, right? We’ll find a new world.”

Rick searched the Milky Way Galaxy for inhabitable planets that were not under the Federation’s jurisdiction. We ended up visiting three planets, all of them horrible, but we settled on the teeny-tiny one that was not even a mile long all the way around. Rick managed to build a small house for us and even make a tv. We all tried to sleep but failed considering how shorts the days and nights were on the planet. 

The Smith’s sat on the couch and watched the news for the Galactic Federation. They announced that Earth was officially added to their collection of enslaved planets. Summer turned off the tv in an irritated huff. 

That’s when Rick walked in. 

“Goodmorning, family. And Y/n. Oh, do I smell bacon?”

Rick seemed to be in a better mood. he didn’t spit my name in disgust, so I guess that was something good. Beth told her father about how we hunted pigs to extinction for breakfast. 

“Well, I thought I’d walk to the south pole and do a little bit of exploring. If you guys need me, just yell or throw something so hard that it goes around the world and hits me.”

With that, he left. 

Jerry spoke up almost immediately. 

“Okay, now that he’s gone, can we please talk about our situation?”

“Dad, you can’t talk about people behind their back. You know, it’s a small world.” Morty commented.

“I’m just saying, we keep acting like there’s only two options, but there’s not. So, yes, if we went back to Earth, as long as rick was out there, they’d want to interrogate us. But, and this is purely hypothetical, what if we turned your father in to the government?”

“What?” I piped up. “Are you crazy?! Do you have any idea of what they would do to him?”

Jerry turned to me, “You know, Y/n, no offense, but this is a Smith family discussion. And since when are you jumping in to stick up for Rick? He is nothing but an asshole to you and all of us? You heard what he said to you in the car! Why should be do something for someone who would never do anything for anyone except himself?”

“That’s not the point,  _ Jerry _ .” I huffed, trying to steady my voice. “I...We love Rick. For the most part. Sure, he’s a complete ass, but he’s my friend and you’re family. How could you even consider handing him over?”

Morty stepped in, backing me up. 

“Yeah, you don’t love people in hopes of a reward, Dad, you love them unconditionally.”

Beth smiled at her son, obviously proud of him.

“Okay, so let me get this straight. For the rest of your lives, no matter how much it hurts you,” Jerry aggressively pointed at me before turning back to his wife. “No matter how much it destroys our children’s futures, we’re gonna do whatever Rick wants, whenever he wants?”

“Yes.” We all said in unison.

“WHY?!” 

“Because I don’t want him to leave again, you dumb asshole!”

Beth shouted before bursting into tears.

I had never felt more conflicted in my life. 

On one hand, I was absolutely livid with Rick. I still couldn’t believe how quickly he turned on me. A part of me wanted to believe he was just angry in the moment and didn’t mean what he said, but the other, less optimistic, side told me he meant it. I wanted to scream and kick and beat the shit out of him just like I did with Tiny Rick.

But I knew. 

Deep, deep down, I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we turned him in. 

Despite how loudly one of the voices in my head was screaming at me to cut my losses with this fucking family and just move on with my life, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Because I loved Rick.

I cursed God and Lucifer and any other deity that may or may not exist that I did, but it was true. It was true and I fucking hated it, but I couldn’t escape it.

I didn’t always like Rick, but goddammit, I loved him. 

I loved his sense of humor, his confidence  _ and  _ his cockiness - his ability to make my toes curl and well as my eyes roll. I loved the way he made me feel so alive when we couldn’t be closer to death. His laugh, his catchphrases, his brain, even his belching for Lucifer’s sake - everything that made Rick,  _ Rick. _

Whatever crazy, stupid fucking emotion I felt towards him, it couldn’t be categorized as just romantic love - that was only a tiny part of the equation. He was my best friend, my teacher, my mentor, my boss, my lover,  _ and  _ the closest thing to a male role-model I had. So many different types of love and relation that could not be slapped with just one label.

_ God. If I ever find who invented love, I will kill ‘em. _

~~~

Rick heard everything.  _ Everything.  _ And he knew what he had to do.

He found Morty outside the house, tossing a frisbee around the world to himself. He approached him slowly. 

“Hey. Uh... I was gonna hope over to the gloppydrop system, get some ice cream.”

Morty smiled at the thought of delicious ice cream. 

“You want me to come with? I mean, don’t you need my brain waves for camouflage or something?”

Rick shook his head. 

“I’ll be okay. Bye, Morty.”

He started to walk away, but something in Morty’s gut told him this wasn’t right. 

“Rick? You’re not leaving, right?”

Rick stopped, turning back towards his grandson, his hand in his pockets, fiddling with the paper inside. 

“Yeah, I am. To get ice cream.”

“So, you’re coming back?”

“Morty, if you go to where there’s a bunch of ice cream and then you don’t come back, you haven’t actually gotten ice cream, you’ve just gone where ice cream is.”

Morty took a deep breath - he knew where this was going. 

“Rick, I can handle it if you go, but you’ll break mom’s heart. And I won’t forgive you for that. Not to mention, it will destroy Y/n.”

Rick’s face remained unmoving and uninterested. 

“And why would I care about that?”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Morty facepalmed. 

“Because no matter how much you try to ignore it, she loves you. And you love her. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes.”

_ I know, you little piece of shit. I fucking know. _

“Where’s the van, Morty?”

Slumping his shoulders, Morty gave up. 

“It’s over the horizon in the driveway.”

Rick turned to leave, but paused, thinking about the paper in his pocket. He faced Morty once again and held it out for Morty. 

“Give this to her...please.”

Morty was so stunned he almost forgot to reach out and take the envelope. 

Without another word, Rick left, taking the van and flying away. On the ship, he made a call to the Galactic Federation.

“Uh, hi, my name is Jerry Smith, I’m from planet earth. I know the whereabouts of Rick Sanchez, the wanted criminal. Yeah, he kidnapped me and my family, as well as a friend of ours, and he left us on dwarf terrace-9. He said he was gonna go to the Plimplom Tavern. And listen, I’m doing what’s right for the galaxy by calling you, so if we come back to earth, can my family have a normal life?”

“We only want Sanchez, sir. Your family will be fine.”

“Nice. Thank you.”

Rick hung up promptly, knowing he had another call to make. The phone only rang twice before he answered. 

“What up, dipshit? I need you to do something for me.”

~~~

We all sat outside the house, staring off into the sunset, waiting for the van to peak over the horizon. But it didn’t.

“He’s not coming back, is he?”

My voice was barely above a whisper. 

“No,” Morty said.

I finally let the tears fall.

Morty reached over to me, lacing his fingers with mine. It warmed my heart but didn’t stop the tears from streaming. Soon after, the Federation showed up, picking us up to take us back to Earth. Morty sat next to me on the flight, trying his best to make me feel better. A medic tended to my arm and I was finally able to wipe the horribly ruined and expired makeup off my face. What I really needed was a hot shower.

After I was bandaged and semi-clean, we arrived back home. We had to go through security, but eventually, we were back on our home planet - which now looked like a completely different world. 

I wanted to get away from the Smith’s as soon as possible. As much as I loved them, I need time away and time to think. Before I part ways with them, Morty gave me a letter, saying it was from Rick.

I waited until I was home to read it.

_ Y/n, _

_ You know I’m not the greatest at apologies, and I never will be, but my first and last proper one will be for you.  _

_ I’m sorry that I dragged you into all of my bullshit. I’m sorry I made you quit college just so you could follow me around and keep me entertained. I’m sorry you had to experience the knawing presence of my family (most of all, myself). And I’m sorry I have to leave you with nothing but a fucking letter.  _

_ I know you aren’t an undercover agent from the federation. You’re such a terrible liar that I would’ve definitely figured it out by now. I let my anger cloud my judgment and I’m sorry for that too.  _

_ I understand if you hate me or is you never want to see my family again, but please keep an eye on Morty for me. You’re the only person I trust to protect that little turd.  _

_ Take care of yourself, baby. I sure will miss that ass of yours.  _

_ In all of the inevitable moments of torture ahead of me, my calming thought will always be you. _

_ -Rick _

_ P.s. I left you something under your bed. Don’t abuse it. _

Quicker than I could move, I dove onto the floor to find a shoebox under my bed. I brought it out, sitting on the floor and opening the lid. My jaw hit the floor when I saw what was inside. 

Rick’s portal gun. 

Or at least a copy, considering he blew his own up at the wedding. I didn’t even have time to process anything before a green portal opened up on the other side of my bedroom,  _ not _ opened by me. 

The figure that stepped through almost made me shit my pants. 

“Hello, Y/n,” he greeted. “I’m Rick J-19, zeta 7. You’re Rick sent me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not crying, you're crying X'(
> 
> p.s. Morty definitely does have a crush on our reader, but just a little one. Jessica is still his main girl ;)


	11. The Y/nest Y/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n is over Rick's dramatic bullshit. She is taking matters into her own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, in this chapter, I pictured the reader with a super bad-ass half-shaved hairstyle. Like she's dressed in a black spy outfit and her hair is curled, but one half is shaved. 
> 
> Anyway, that's just how I imagined it. You can imagine as you wish ;)

I had met a lot of Ricks in my time. They were all the exact same save for the occasional race, eye color, or hairdo. But this Rick was the first one to catch me off guard in terms of behavior. 

He was....nice. 

Like conventionally nice, not Rick standards of nice. 

Rick J-19 took me to his dimension, promising to explain everything. Before we talked, he offered me a cup of coffee, a hot shower, and even a clean set of clothes. Still confused, but too drained to ask too many questions, I took the clothes and quietly thanked him. 

As soon as I walked through his portal, I noticed we were in the Smith’s house - as I excepted. But what I didn’t expect was to find it empty. Meaning, Rick seemed to be the only one that lived there. Even when I walked past Morty’s room, it was just full of boxes and equipment. 

I stopped in my tracks when I saw the pictures hanging in the hall. It was Rick and his Y/n, varying locations, but almost always with his arms around her. But the one that really threw me was the photo of them on what appeared to be their wedding day. 

They looked so happy. The way Rick was looking at her made my heart skip a few beats.

“She was beautiful, wasn’t she?” Rick’s voice came from behind me, startling me a little.

Smiling at him, I nodded.

“In my dimension, things never really worked with Diane. I never had a family of my own until I met her.”

Rick reached out for the picture, tracing the silhouette of his wife.

“She wasn’t the most intelligent person in the world, but she was so kind and full of life. She always knew how to cheer me up and cheer me on. She was my whole world.”

“Was?”

His hand fell as well as his eyes.

“I…” Rick struggled to find his voice. “I lost her a few years ago.”

I felt my heart crack, making my chest feel heavy.

“I’m so sorry. What happened to her?”

I didn’t want to push it with him, but my curiosity got the better of me. I realized how insensitive I was being and told him he didn’t have to tell me. But he said it was alright. 

“We were expecting our firstborn and I had an emergency come up with the Council of Rick’s. They wanted to send me on a routine salvaging of an enemy ship and Y/n wanted to come with me. Even though it was supposed to be a simple mission, I really encouraged her to stay home because of her condition. But she insisted, saying she wanted to see me in action. We were ambushed by a rouge Rick and his Morty. I tried my best to protect her but…”

His voice hitched in his throat. I wanted to comfort him, but I didn’t know if it was the time.

“I lost her. And our child. I couldn’t save them.”

He fell quiet for a moment. I didn’t push him - he was clearly still in a lot of pain.

“But I have to thank you.”

My brow furrowed. He placed a hand on my shoulder, looking me dead in the eye.

“The rogue Rick that took her from me was the same one who framed your Rick for all those murders. And you gave him what he deserved, so thank you for giving her the justice she deserved.”

I couldn’t help myself. I dropped the clothes on the floor and wrapped Rick in a huge hug. He was taken aback by me but eventually returned the hug. I hugged him for several minutes, not wanting to let him go. He wasn’t my Rick, but he was a kindred soul. I was eternally grateful I put that Rick motherfucker in the ground for ruining this Rick’s life - even if I wasn’t aware of it at the time. 

“I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, Rick. I didn’t know your Y/n, but I know she loved you. So much.”

“Thank you.” He whispered. 

After another moment, we broke the hug and he left me to clean myself up. 

The hot shower was exactly what I needed. I washed all of the blood, sweat, tears, and grime from my body. And because of the Galactic Federation’s crazy advanced medicine, my arm was already healed. It was now a large scar to add to the growing collection.

I was still pretty bummed that my dress got ruined, but I guess it was now an opportunity to go shopping for another emergency dress. I couldn’t imagine how Rick would behave if I took him shopping - he would be bored out of his mind. 

_ Rick. Oh, God. _

For a moment, I had forgotten everything. 

My Rick was in a high-security prison somewhere, most likely being tortured for information. Or worse - he could be dead. 

My swollen eyes wanted to shed every last tear that was left in my body, but I couldn’t produce any. Every part of my body just ached from my head to my feet. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into my bed with my Rick and just fall asleep on his chest. I wanted to smell him and feel his cold hands on my back as he stroked my hair. 

_ Why would Rick be so fucking idiotic as to turn himself in to the federation? _

I wracked my brain to find  _ any  _ logical reasoning why he would do such a thing. Even if Rick loves someone, like his daughter, he will do almost anything to save himself. He wouldn’t turn himself in without a plan. 

Wait…

That was it. 

Rick  _ never  _ goes into a dangerous situation without a plan. Even when he is drunk of his ass, he is still planning our next adventure in his head.

_ How did I not think of this before?! That son of a bitch turned himself in on purpose! _

Immediately, I turned off the shower, jumping out and drying and clothing myself as fast as I possibly could. 

“Rick!”

I came flying out of the bathroom, running into the kitchen where I found a startled and confused Rick. 

“I figured it out, and I have a plan.”

~~~

**One Week Later**

“You want to what?”

I stared up at the Council of Ricks, all of them gawking at me with stupid looks on their faces. The entire room was full of Ricks and their Mortys - all of them looking at me with similar expressions. 

“I said, I want to formally renounce my Rick.”

My tone was stern and aggressive, venom sewn into every word.

“And what has brought you to this drastic action, Y/n C-137?”

One of them asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because my Rick is a fucking piece of shit who got himself arrested by the Galactic Federation.”

A series of gasps and murmurs broke out, including the council. Pointy-haired-magee who was so incredibly kind to me last time I was here, stood, “This is very troubling. We can't risk Citadel secrets falling into the Federation's hands. We'll dispatch S.E.A.L. Team Ricks immediately to break into the prison holding C-137.”

A smirk spread across my face.

“Great. I want in.”

The council laughed, as well as almost every Rick in the room. I felt like an idiot, but I had to stand strong. These douchebags are used to Y/ns being complete air-heads - not to mention almost all Ricks were sexists. 

“Oh, Y/ns are always good for a laugh,” one of the other Ricks wiped a tear from their eye. “But what use could you possibly be breaking into the Galactic Federation?”

I took a deep breath to calm myself. Right now, I wanted to kick every single one of these Ricks in the balls. 

“Because, in case you dipshits forgot, I am the only Y/n in existence Ricks can tolerate because of my IQ. Not to mention, I’ve been personally trained by the Rickest Rick there is. Consider this my starting mission for the council - after all, after today, I won’t have a Rick anymore.”

I held up my hand, inspecting my nails to seem like I was confident. Honestly, I just wanted to do it cause I’d seen it in so many movies. I gave the council a sly smile, relishing in their conflicted looks. I watched them as they looked at each other, giving silent nods. 

“How do we know we can trust you, C-137?” Cinnamon bun head Rick asked. 

“You can’t, and you probably shouldn’t, but you are running out of time and I’m running out of patience. I guess, instead, I could always call the Federation and give them my exact coordinates.”

I received six glares of death for that comment.

“Oh, and I know you can teleport the citadel away at any time, but I also know it takes a lot of power - and that power needs at least twelve hours to recharge. Plenty of time to resend coordinates and have the Federation here within minutes.”

And the glares got even more severe, but I could see in their eyes, they knew I wasn’t bluffing. And I definitely wasn’t. 

Pinhead sighed deeply, groaning loudly at the end.

“We always knew a cocky Y/n would lead to huge problems,” he stated, clearly aggravated. “ _ Fine. _ Report to sector seven for your instructions. Stay close to the Ricks and  _ don’t  _ do anything a Morty would do.”

I heard a couple of Mortys in the room voice their insulted opinions. 

Giving them the biggest fake smile I could muster, I whipped out my portal gun, twirling it in my fingers like in an old western. I opened a portal in front of me, using the other hand to flip off the council before stepping through. 

“Peace among worlds, bitches.”

And with that, I left the Ricks to wallow in their hatred towards me.

_ Goddammit, I love myself. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww. Rick would be so proud. 
> 
> I decided to split this chapter into two so it wasn't too long. More coming soon ;)


	12. Give the Woman an Oscar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice, long, and juicy. Just the way I like 'em ;)
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes.

I made my way to sector seven, as I was instructed. I walked with a confident spring in my step, still on a natural high from the way I ripped the council new assholes. I got some odd looks from passing Ricks but paid them no mind.

The plan was going perfectly so far. All that was left was to get Rick’s ass out of prison - I was certain he was already working on it himself. 

Once I arrived, I was equipped with armor, an earpiece, and a gun. One Rick even painted war lines under my eyes - it looked bomb as fuck, but I think he just wanted an excuse to touch my face.

I noticed the Rick with the mohawk giving me all-too-familiar lust-filled looks. I was big enough to admit the hair cut was hot, but I averted his gaze. It wasn’t a problem until I felt him grab my ass.

He leaned into my ear, his hot breath on my neck.

“After we’re done with this, how about I show you what a  _ real  _ Rick can do with his Y/n.”

I never thought I would be disgusted and turned on at the same time. If this was my Rick, I’d jump his bones right now.

I settled for removing his hand from my ass and twisting it too far in the wrong direction. He grunted in pain but showed no fear. And I didn’t expect him to - he was a Rick after all.

“Touch me again and I’ll kick your ass so hard you’ll have to unbutton your collar to take a shit. Savvy?”

Rick narrowed his eyes at me, a small smirk on his face. He seemed impressed. Good.

I released his arm, turning to face the rest of the Ricks.

“Listen up, ass-wipes: when we get in there, you take care of the agents. Leave C-137 to me.”

“Oh, yeah?” Eyepatch Rick mused. “And what makes you think you can order us around, babydoll?”

I gave him an empty stare, walking over to him slowly. I reached my hand up to touch his face - he flinched slightly, most likely expecting me to hit him. But I just stroked his cheek gently. I could feel all the other Rick’s eyes on me. 

“You want to know why?” I whispered in a sultry voice.

Before he could think, I grabbed both of his shoulders, kicking my knee right into his above-average-sized goods. He crumbled to the ground, groaning in pain.

“That’s why, dickhead.”

Earning the fear of a Rick was next to impossible, but winning the respect of one was much harder. I knew I could never scare a Rick, but I knew what made them tick. And kicking someone in the nuts, especially if its one of their own, earned instant laughs. They left me alone after that, focusing on the task at hand.

_ I’m coming, Rick. Please don’t be dead or I’ll fucking kill you. _

~~~

Someone once told me you can enter a room, or you can make an entrance. Ricks often chose the latter. Once we arrived at the prison, we found where they were interrogating my Rick and wasted no time before bursting in through the ceiling. 

“S.E.A.L. Team Ricks in the house!” One of them shouted, immediately opening fire on all of the bug agents. 

Everything was happening so fast - agents were falling left and right. In the middle of the room, there was a huge machine with tables alongside it. And strapped to one of them was the lifeless body of my Rick.

He was alive, but clearly out of it. That’s when I noticed the agent hiding behind the table where Rick was laying. He was wearing a helmet that was connected to the machine. 

I was about to open fire on his ugly ass, but something in my gut wouldn’t let me do it. The feeling that had been so correct in the past was screaming at me to not shoot this bug. But why?

I got my answer quicker than I thought when he aimed the gun on top of the machine at mohawk Rick, firing it before falling completely limp. Mohawk was stunned by the shot, rubbing his head. 

“D-99, you okay?” One Rick asked. 

That’s when shit went down. 

My jaw hit the floor when Mohawk opened fire on the other Ricks. He ducked to avoid their shots, but all of them were so shocked, they were dead before they could really process what was happening. There was only one Rick that would turn on their fellow Ricks like that. 

“I’m bummed I didn’t get to give that alien dick a test-drive.”

_ Yup, that’s my Rick. _

Once all of the Ricks were down, Rick finally turned to me, aiming his gun at me. He must’ve thought I was just another Rick because his face when he saw me was the definition of shock. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” He shouted at me. 

“Me?! I’m trying to save your ass!” I hissed back. 

“Who said I needed you to save me?! I had a plan that you and the Rick wonder-shits just ruined!”

Rolling my eyes, I lowered my gun. “Let’s save the domestic for later, Rick, we need to get the hell out of here.”

Alarms were starting to sound and we needed to leave before the whole room was swarmed with ugly ass bugs. 

“I have to do something first.”

I was about to protest, but Rick walked over to me, grabbed the back of my neck, and slammed his lips to mine, nearly knocking the wind from my lungs. I hardly had a moment to react before he pressed his tongue to the seam of my lips and, at my grant of access, delved inside my mouth. We didn’t have time to be canoodling with each other, and yet, neither of us stopped. 

Rick growled against my lips, attacking them even further before abruptly pulling away and giving me a nip on my ear. 

“You look so fucking hot right now and I have been in prison for over a week without even being able to masturbate. The second we get out of here, your ass is mine.”

True to his word, the second we got on the ship the other Ricks and I arrived on, he set a course for the citadel, put the ship on autopilot, and pinned me against the nearest wall. 

He grabbed me by my hips, lifting me into the air, making me wrap my legs around his waist. Immediately, I felt his straining erection against my core. Once again, his mouth found its way to mine, locking our lips in a steamy, ferocious pattern. Both of us were hot and ready to go - just like Little fucking Caesers.

I giggled against Rick’s lips.

“Be sure not to break a hip, old man,” I taunted him. 

He scoffed. 

“Someone’s been taking their confidence pills. I’m gonna make you eat those words, little girl.”

“Fuck,” I moaned as I felt him sink his teeth into my neck. “I missed you, you sexy son of a bitch.”

“I missed you too, baby.”

Rick managed to rummage his hand into my tight pants, feeling my sopping wet pussy underneath. 

“Fuck, Y/n,” he chimed. “So fucking wet for me already?”

His name fell from my lips as he whispered his salivating filth in my ear. 

“This hair is so fucking hot, Rick.”

I ran my fingers through the crazy mohawk from the borrowed body of D-99. The way half Rick’s head was shaven was enough to bring me to my knees. 

He gave me an evil smirk, most likely enjoying the shower of compliments I was raining on him. The smug, egotistical bastard. 

Once he sucked a few good hickeys on my neck, whilst simultaneously grinding his rock hard goods into mine, he pulled away to momentarily set me down to yank down my pants. 

“Gonna have to make this fast, babe. Still in the middle of a critical prison break.” He said, picking me back up. 

I shivered when I felt his tip brush over my soaked lips. His obvious rushing yet teasing nature made me growl. 

“Then hurry the fuck up and fuck me.”

That did it. 

Rick slammed into me all the way to the base and wasted no time in setting a brutal pace. My loud moans were only matched by the aggressive grunts coming out of him. 

“I know it’s only been a week,” he panted. “But I missed the hell out of this pussy.”

There was no need for me to respond. Not that I would’ve been able to anyway - Rick’s dick annihilating my insides was keeping me rather occupied.

It couldn’t have lasted longer than a few minutes before we both started feeling the build-up. Rick continued to whisper words of praise and filth into my ear as he reached down to rub my throbbing clit. My moans were the fuel to his thrusts. They got sloppier and sloppier until -

Both our orgasms hit us like a fucking brick wall - like we hadn’t fucked in years. For a moment, all thoughts of the outside world vanished and all there was was us, panting and riding on ecstasy. 

Once our breathing and heart rates returned to their normal speeds, we cleaned ourselves up and got dressed. Rick explained his plan to me and exactly how I could fit into it. 

_ Oh, this is gonna be good. _

~~~

I returned to the Citadel and the Council of Ricks. I assumer them of C-137’s “death” and claimed to be the only survivor from the team. They seemed both impressed and scared. I was happy to feed on their approval and fear.

“And what the hell is that?” One of the Ricks asked, pointing at my neck.

_ Shit. The hickeys. _

Luckily, I was quick on my feet. I gave them a mischievous smirk.

“Let’s just say D-99 got a little friendly before his unfortunate demise.”

I could’ve sworn I heard one of them grumble, ‘Lucky bastard.’ 

Not long after I finished my report, the doors of the council room opened to reveal a Summer and Morty in cuffs being shoved in by security Ricks. But not just any Summer and Morty -  _ my  _ Summer and Morty. 

_ Fuck me. What are they doing here? _

Externally, I remained in my dead-eyed character, standing to the side of the council’s big ass pedestal. Honestly, if I didn’t know better, I would say they were compensating for something.

As Morty and Summer were pushed closer, the sour looks on their faces fell even further as they recognized me. Summer looked pissed while Morty just looked confused and sad. 

“Y/n? Is that you?”

My eyes acknowledged them, but I remained as unmoving as a statue. Just as a soldier should have looked when being faced with such a matter as this. If I didn’t win an Oscar for my masterful performance, I’d probably flip a bitch. 

“Ah, yes, sorry to disappoint you two, but your Y/n is our plaything now. She’s explicitly renounced your Rick by putting a bullet in his brain.”

Morty and Summer screamed their surprise in unison. 

“What the fuck, Y/n?! I thought you were our friend!” Morty yelled. 

“I always knew you were a dirty  _ rat _ ,” Summer spat.

I gave her nothing but an arched eyebrow as a response. Part of me was hurt she would say something like that to me - who has been nothing but kind to her since I’d known her. But I understood the fact that, at this moment, she thought I was betraying them. I couldn’t wait to rub this in her face later. 

If we survived, of course.

“Enough of your bitching. Morty and Summer of C-137, your charges are as follows: Operating an unregistered portal gun, radicalizing a Summer, conspiring with a traitorous Rick. How do you plead?”

_ How is this a fair trial?  _ I thought to myself.  _ Their ‘lawyer’ is a Morty. _

I watched the Ricks laugh at the Morty standing next to mine in his little suit.  _ I wish Rick would hurry the fuck up so I didn’t have to stand up so straight. Posture is highly overrated. _

I tuned back in when the Ricks got all serious again.

“We’ll be lenient if you renounce your Rick. What say you, Summer?”

Summer crossed her arms, “I say FUCK you! My grandpa was my hero. And especially fuck you.” She pointed at me this time. 

“You killed him because you were jealous of him. And you were pissed that he left. Well, so was I, but  _ I  _ didn’t give up on him.”

I wanted so badly to run to Summer and tell her about the whole plan, but I knew I couldn’t. I just had to wait for Rick. I’d tan his hyde if he kept us waiting any longer. 

“Do what you want to me, “Summer huffed. “But let my brother go. He already renounced Rick.”

“Morty?” Pointyhead Rick questioned.

Morty clenched his fists, “I don't renounce Rick, and I never have. I was just trying to protect my sister. I wanted you to have a normal life. That's something you can't have when Rick shows up. Everything real turns fake. Everything right is wrong. All you know is that you know nothing and he knows everything. And, well... well, - he's not a villain, Summer, but he shouldn't be your hero. He's more like a demon or a super fucked up god.”

“Let’s not suck the ghost of his dick too hard,” I stepped forward in front of Morty, away from the sight of the Ricks. “He was a terrorist and now he’s dead.”

If this had been a cartoon, I think steam would’ve shot out of Morty’s ears. 

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?! WE WERE YOUR FRIENDS AND YOU STABBED US IN THE BACK! WE LOVED YOU!  _ RICK  _ LOVED YOU!”

I grabbed Morty by the wrists before he could make the strike he was building up in his mind against me.

“Calm yourself, C-137.” I hissed with my words, but I pleaded with my eyes. I stared down at my dear friend, wishing he could see the message in my eyes. 

Before anyone could open their mouths again, the ground beneath our feet began to rumble. The Ricks came down from their pedestal, all murmurings about what they thought was going on. In an instant, the Citadel was cracking and falling apart with every Rick and Morty screaming as they were attacked by galactic feds. 

_ Rick, you genius bastard. _

Moments later, the devil himself came into the room disguised as a council member. 

“The Citadel's been teleported to Federation space. It's doomed. This has to be C-137, you guys. What are we gonna do?! You know he's coming for us.” He feigned concern. 

Pointy grabbed Summer, claiming her to be his hostage. He told the rest of us to ‘Rick, Laser, Scissors’ for Morty. 

They threw their hands while Rick showed them a small remote with a red button on it. 

“W-w-what the hell is that?” A Rick questioned. 

“Payback.” My Rick smirked, pressing the button to bring the door down behind him. He ripped off his council disguise and began shooting down the Council members until all that was left was cone head. 

“Grandpa Rick!” Summer exclaimed in joy and surprise. 

Rick fluffed out his hair back to its normal spikey glory.  _ Ah, shame. No more mohawk. _

“Duh.” Rick huffed at his granddaughter. “Y/n, get the kids out of here.”

I nodded, grabbing Morty and my portal gun. I shot a portal into the ground and pushed Morty through. He didn’t seem very happy about it, but at least he was safe. 

The same could not be said for Summer who now had a gun pointed at her temple.

Rick and I raised our own weapons, glaring her capture down. Pointy Rick grimaced in my direction. 

“We should’ve known better than to put any sort of trust into a Y/n. Especially  _ you.  _ But sometimes Ricks think with their dicks.”

I gave him a fake smile. “Yeah, not a great call, Dr. Seuss. Now let Summer go.”

“Yeah, what... what's this supposed to accomplish?” Rick asked, sounding rather inconvenienced. “We have infinite grandkids. You're trying to use Disney bucks at a Caesar's Palace here.”

“You're a rogue Rick…” Pointy mocked. “Irrational, passionate. You love your grandkids. You love your Y/n. You came to rescue them.”

“I  _ came  _ to kill you, bro.”

I stood by Rick, eying the two idiots as they bickered. It all came to a boiling point when Summer started to cry at Rick’s cold remarks against her. 

“Okay. I’ve had enough.”

I aimed right at Pointy, not hesitating for a second before I decorated the wall behind him with the insides of his head. Summer screamed, pushing away from the decapitated body as it crumbled to the floor. She ran to me and sobbed - she chocked out unintelligible apologies to me as I tried to whisper calming words to her.

Rick busted us up. “Save the tears for a real terror, Summer. Y/n, send her home.”

I sent a glare to Rick before opening a portal and letting Summer go through. As soon as she was gone, I punched Rick in the arm as hard as I could.

“That’s for making her cry.”

“I’ll make it up to her later. Right now, I have much more important things to do.”

Rick took off running, leaving me no choice but to follow. For an old man, he certainly was in exceptional shape. We ran all the way to the main control room of the prison, having no trouble since all the guards were busy battling the Ricks. 

“So what are we gonna do Rick? Are you going to set all their nukes to target each other? Ooh, or reprogram their military portals to disintegrate their entire space fleet?” I beamed, thinking of all the wonderful and awful ways we could destroy those fucks.

Rick smirked over at me as he typed away on the giant computer. 

“Good pitches, Y/n. I’m almost proud. But watch closely as I topple an empire by changing a one to a zero.”

Rick crossed his arms over his chest with pride as he watched me put two and two together. I laughed - half out of shock and half of genuine disbelief that I knew this man. This man who almost single-handedly brought down the  _ Galactic Federation  _ as well as destroy the one thing he hated more than anything: himself _ .  _ And all he did was use a few bullets and change one number. 

This man - nay this  _ god  _ \- was truly something else. 

After that, Rick and I made out hardcore as we listened to our greatest enemies shatter into a million pieces. We fucked against the computer, on the Rick council’s pedestal, and several more times in my bed after we returned home. 

Rick fell beside me, both of us panting like dogs as we rode out the rest of our highs. As I watched him catch his breath, his eyes closed and his brow dripping with sweat, I couldn’t help the next words that came out of my mouth.

“I love you.”

I watched for his reaction, but his expression didn’t seem to change. His eyes didn’t even open.

“You really shouldn’t, but you never listen to me anyway. So do whatever the hell you want.”

Humming contently, I scooted closer to him, laying my head on his chest.

“Close enough.”

With that, I drifted to sleep with a smile on my face and Rick’s heartbeat ringing in my ear.

_ I love you too, kid. But you’ll never hear me say it. We’re both really fucking stupid for coming to this, but now I couldn’t get rid of you if I tried. I knew you were going to be a nightmare for me the second I saw you. Of all the infinite Y/ns, you just had to be the one for me.  _

Rick pulled the sleeping girl in closer, cursing her and himself over and over until he too drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyyyyyy hoped you like this. Sorry it's been so long! Writer's block is a BITCH. Also, that COVID thing isn't fun either. And stupid professors giving me an UNGODLY amount of homework. But, oh well. C'est la vie.
> 
> This isn't the end of the story BTW. I have more plans (and I also still need to finish season 4 to see if I want to go anywhere else with this). But I can guarantee there will be an entire chapter of filth later on ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Like, Comment, Subscribe ;D
> 
> Wait...this isn't YouTube.


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